Have you seen those oriental or eastern images of the ornate demons, dancing around looking ferocious and foreboding? Well, that is the image that came to me recently while listening to someone explaining some interactions they had been dealing with.
I began to be entranced by all the ways that LIFE brings about our button pushers. Our focus is usually captivated by the dancing demon, the seduction of Maya, or our best friends criticism. All our attention is pulled out side of us, the drama ensues and we are swept up into the belief that the illusion is real, blaming or defending against the perceived attack.
Don't get me wrong. I am well aware that it is an experience that is being had. In those moments our perception of that engagement, with buttons pushed, and the demon still doing it's best to distract us, feels all too real! I too fall into my reactions. But here are a couple of questions to ask:
Why do I react when the person next to me seems not to notice that dancing demon at all?
Who is the 'I' that is in reaction?
What is the true invitation being asked of me through the button pusher?
Who is the button pusher &/or the dancing demon?
What is the true state of who you are?
The demon might pull my hair and I will become indignant and pained, so he decides to pull the hair again and again! Because I gave a reaction. The demon might pull your hair and you might laugh and walk away. The demon now changes up his jig and runs up to pinch you! Aha! Now, you turn around and face him, just as ferociously. He knows he's got your attention! But if he pinches me, it's just a gnat I am swooshing away. So what's up?
We are only going to react to what we have learned to be affected by. This doesn't mean if we both get into a wreck and break a leg, that we won't both feel the pain. But how we respond to the pain is a different story. It is a different story, because we literally carry these stories within us. The philosophy of karma explains this best. To be brief, we come into each incarnation predisposed to certain tendencies that ego will assume as part of the personality. Those tendencies and pre-programming will be buttons awaiting the button pusher! My buttons are different than your buttons based on our individualized souls past incarnations. Maybe I was a hair puller in some other incarnation. Maybe I reveled in upsetting others in that way. Maybe I was their dancing demon. Hence the sayings, "What comes around, goes around" or "An eye for an eye", which were most likely meant as statements of karma,action and consequence, not a literal act of punishment or revenge.
This leads us directly to the statement Dr. Gabriel Cousens makes at The Tree of Life. "The personality is a case of mistaken identity." We believe we are this body, these thoughts, our stories, the personality ~ the EGO. Ego is not a bad guy in totality. We need it's faculties to navigate this life in these bodies. But it is when we BELIEVE in this ego as who we are, we will fall prey to all the dancing demons! When I react to getting my hair pulled and it brings up my stories of victimization or self-pity, ego tries to defend the 'personality' by getting indignant or it may succumb to tears. This is the personality carrying out it's role on auto-pilot, identified to the ego/personality. This is the mission of us all . . . stop identifying with this level of our reality. Yes, we have the personality, but it is not who we are.
The invitation by each button pusher or dancing demon, is to stop reacting to and believing the lie of the small self. Instead to become acquainted with the True Self. Now, I understand that this line of thought may not make sense to everyone. We all start from wherever we are. But, with some investigation, I have faith that we all will see the perception I am coming from. It is difficult to separate these layers of the Self, to see them each clearly. But it does happen, and it is that experience that brings each of us into the KNOWING, rather than the philosophizing about what I am saying.
LIFE is the button pusher and the demon. LIFE is also the PEACE, UNITY & LOVE. Life is our teacher of lessons. But on the side of the coin where Maya, otherwise termed illusion, has hold over our perception, we need our buttons pushed to help us to get free of them. How do we get free. First, realize it isn't really personal. That each demon is in service to your seeing clearly. Next, stop reacting habitually, and start asking deeper questions about what is REALLY going on. What is the situation teaching you? Why are you reacting the way you are? What are the emotions or truths that are being revealed to you by the demon? Investigate whether or not you may not wanting to face an aspect of yourself. Look in the mirror.
Then, stop. Just stop and draw your attention in and ask your self 'WHO is experiencing this situation?' HMMM. This is the substance of most importance. We are so busy looking outside, watching and reacting in our own special ways to our demons. We believe the experience because it is jumping around in front of us and creating all sorts of uncomfortable emotions inside of us. We believe the experience is the truth, but really it is that which is EXPERIENCING, that is the Truth. Stop looking at all that noise externally for a minute. WHO is looking at it all? WHO is witnessing 'you' stopping to look? Seriously. Sit with this, close the eyes and just breathe and turn your attention inward to seek the WHO? This is as far as I go with words. This is where only you can pick up this trail. And when you KNOW, the words will be few.
The True Self is the purpose of all the spiritual practices we do. The more we practice, the more we experience this Self, the more we identify with IT and the less we are taken in by the ups & downs of the personality. The dancing demons lose their power. And why is this important? Well, once you visit this Self a few times, you'll begin to understand. But in words, we can say that if you desire Peace, Joy, Harmony, Love and Compassion to be your reality, then transformation through this seeking central in 'the way'. It is central in all versions of the Way.
Every time participants go into Yoga Nidra, they strengthen the connection to the WHO? the Self, the Source. Every time students join me for private sessions of Unveiling Soul Yoga, they discover what separates them from the expansion of Self, then they move through the blocks and gain new awareness. Every time I guide someone in the Zero Point process, they quickly dissipate old stories, thought forms and identifications, opening them up to more authentic ways of being. All of these vehicles offer a glimps or connection to that Source within.
We are all seeking Freedom, Love and Joy. We just haven't been taught how to achieve those qualities in a way that will last. In fact, we need to know that these are not emotions, they are qualities of being. In general, we haven't been shown what stands in the way, on all levels, which include ego, or how to heal from our past in this life or previous lives.
I hope all who have read this are encouraged to begin or continue this path of seeking. Each will find their own place of resonance, the methods by which to start the unveiling process. Each will know, because that voice within will lead the way. So in closing, lets all be as thankful as possible for our button pushers, our dancing demons and each opportunity they give us to wake-up, question and become conscious!
Peace~ Lotus
Monday, March 29, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
creating intentions for yoga nidra
Last night we had an extended class in order to learn how to create and personalize intentions for our Yoga Nidra practices. While it seems simple enough to come up with what we are desiring to move toward in our lives, the process last night helped us to get a deeper understanding of the layers found in creating an aligned intention. This alignment is imperative to manifestation.
The first area we discussed was the difference between 'goal' and 'intention'. The qualities are very different. For instance Goal holds the characteristics of a)having an end-point; moving from here to there b)it works only on the material plane and c) creates expectation. It is staged in the plane of duality, which means we will be subject to disappointment, judgment, self-conflict and the stress of success or failure if we fall short or miss the mark completely of our goal. This orientation of goal, keeps us trapped in the ego process of "I/it will be better when . . .I get there, I have, achieve or become this or that." It automatically carries the message that something is lacking. Intention carries the message of fullness.
Intention, on the other hand, can seem a little more illusive: a)it has no end point b)the seed we plant may be 'known', but the final result is 'unknown' c) creates alignment in our feeling, thoughts, speech and action d) it promotes relaxation e) it allows the truth of the moment to show up all along the way.
The example I used for this was from my own experience recently of teaching Yoga Nidra. What I shared was that I hadn't planned on teaching YN classes. I thought I was just going to integrate private sessions into the rest of my work. The intention I had set early on was something like, "I embrace my path of right livelyhood." The 'known' was that I would be open, receptive and moving into the work I love-ie, working with people one on one. However, Spirit had a whole different idea in mind, hence I am teaching classes too. Intentions hold the flexibility to flow with the Universal rhythm rather than stay fixed or rigid, as if to say, it must be this and it must be this way. As the ideas or talk of classes began to surface, I felt the alignment and rightness of that guidance. I planted the seed, but I didn't know, and still don't how it will all play out. I trust.
We also talked about the integrative power to our creating an intention. Examples of this are: a) we will experience less internal conflict b) we will find more calm within c) channels our mind in the direction of our highest self/potential d) nurtures qualities like compassion and kindness e) we withdraw from acting out in self-negating ways. The power of this stems from the way in which the intentions work WITH the practice of Yoga Nidra.
We all have had affirmations that we have memorized, repeated as we are driving,working, going to sleep etc. The question is how well do they work? This isn't to say they don't, but I think the odds are not as celebratory as we'd like. For me, at times it has felt like I am trying to convince myself of something that doesn't quite seem to fit. When we work with the affirmations/intentions in this normal waking state, ego is also present, alive and well. It is most happy to interrupt our fantasy with all the reasons I can't, won't or shouldn't believe in what I am affirming.
But AHA! Yoga Nidra allows our intentions to be planted while ego is 'asleep' and disarmed, because we are in a deep meditative place and ego is NOT present! So, the magic begins, works behind the scenes with our Highest Good, and WALA! New ways of being are manifested!
We don't get a complete free ride though! Sometimes the creation of the aligned intention means that if there are issues in the way of our Highest Self, they need to be addressed. This is an on-going process of self-reflection, self-study and self-inquiry. All the rowers of the boat need to be rowing together and in the same direction, or else the boat is not going to reach it's destination. It'll just spin in circles! An example of this has been my process of teaching in general! I love to learn and share what I have learned, what inspires me and the ways in which I have found freedom. Teaching is what I do whether I mean to or not. It's how I communicate. And yet it hasn't come easy in formal settings. Fortunately, I have been picking away at this for many years, gaining ground little by little finally leaps and bounds! However, I have worked with it with YN as well. An intention such as, "I step into my dharma with enthusiasm, confidence and joy." The story I had listened to has been the voices of doubt and fear. Outwardly, I had expressed disclaimers as to my abilities. Simultaneously I had been in the position of wanting to teach, but terrified someone would show. Self-defeated if no one did and not surprised when this was the outcome. And in the midst of all this density, it was easy to loose track of the light of inspiration that called me to begin with! Now, it certainly doesn't take too much time to see clearly what I had been creating for myself. My story created the circumstances, which in turn affirmed the reality I had created! It's easy to see now, but as we all know, when we are in the mishmash of our stuff, we can be pretty blind. This is why, if we are serious about transformation, we have to keep a close eye on our selves, our thoughts, habits, and our actions. Because no matter how much we want to change or rather to let the false fall away to reveal what is true, wanting needs to translate into the necessary actions to dig in that dirt and pull out the weeds!
When we begin to create our intentions, often times they will show us where we need to begin the inner work. We may come up against resistance to seeing our selves in the highest place, fear of creating what we really want, realizing that the alignment is off because we have a message that questions our worthiness. Sometimes help is needed to learn how to dig in that dirt. Over time and with the practice of this process, we learn how to see the falsehoods, how to chip away the old and create a new vision, plant that seed in the YN session and over time change out our seed stock!
Last, but not least, Intentions work with the grace of Spirit. There is a force that is always present and aiding us. As we become to willing to release that old baggage, we become more aware of the ever present Presence. With Amrit Method Yoga Nidra, we begin to sense that we are not this personality but 'something much bigger'. And that 'something' already holds all we could wish to manifest. It's all there waiting. It is in the journey, not the destination. Come join us!
Peace~
The first area we discussed was the difference between 'goal' and 'intention'. The qualities are very different. For instance Goal holds the characteristics of a)having an end-point; moving from here to there b)it works only on the material plane and c) creates expectation. It is staged in the plane of duality, which means we will be subject to disappointment, judgment, self-conflict and the stress of success or failure if we fall short or miss the mark completely of our goal. This orientation of goal, keeps us trapped in the ego process of "I/it will be better when . . .I get there, I have, achieve or become this or that." It automatically carries the message that something is lacking. Intention carries the message of fullness.
Intention, on the other hand, can seem a little more illusive: a)it has no end point b)the seed we plant may be 'known', but the final result is 'unknown' c) creates alignment in our feeling, thoughts, speech and action d) it promotes relaxation e) it allows the truth of the moment to show up all along the way.
The example I used for this was from my own experience recently of teaching Yoga Nidra. What I shared was that I hadn't planned on teaching YN classes. I thought I was just going to integrate private sessions into the rest of my work. The intention I had set early on was something like, "I embrace my path of right livelyhood." The 'known' was that I would be open, receptive and moving into the work I love-ie, working with people one on one. However, Spirit had a whole different idea in mind, hence I am teaching classes too. Intentions hold the flexibility to flow with the Universal rhythm rather than stay fixed or rigid, as if to say, it must be this and it must be this way. As the ideas or talk of classes began to surface, I felt the alignment and rightness of that guidance. I planted the seed, but I didn't know, and still don't how it will all play out. I trust.
We also talked about the integrative power to our creating an intention. Examples of this are: a) we will experience less internal conflict b) we will find more calm within c) channels our mind in the direction of our highest self/potential d) nurtures qualities like compassion and kindness e) we withdraw from acting out in self-negating ways. The power of this stems from the way in which the intentions work WITH the practice of Yoga Nidra.
We all have had affirmations that we have memorized, repeated as we are driving,working, going to sleep etc. The question is how well do they work? This isn't to say they don't, but I think the odds are not as celebratory as we'd like. For me, at times it has felt like I am trying to convince myself of something that doesn't quite seem to fit. When we work with the affirmations/intentions in this normal waking state, ego is also present, alive and well. It is most happy to interrupt our fantasy with all the reasons I can't, won't or shouldn't believe in what I am affirming.
But AHA! Yoga Nidra allows our intentions to be planted while ego is 'asleep' and disarmed, because we are in a deep meditative place and ego is NOT present! So, the magic begins, works behind the scenes with our Highest Good, and WALA! New ways of being are manifested!
We don't get a complete free ride though! Sometimes the creation of the aligned intention means that if there are issues in the way of our Highest Self, they need to be addressed. This is an on-going process of self-reflection, self-study and self-inquiry. All the rowers of the boat need to be rowing together and in the same direction, or else the boat is not going to reach it's destination. It'll just spin in circles! An example of this has been my process of teaching in general! I love to learn and share what I have learned, what inspires me and the ways in which I have found freedom. Teaching is what I do whether I mean to or not. It's how I communicate. And yet it hasn't come easy in formal settings. Fortunately, I have been picking away at this for many years, gaining ground little by little finally leaps and bounds! However, I have worked with it with YN as well. An intention such as, "I step into my dharma with enthusiasm, confidence and joy." The story I had listened to has been the voices of doubt and fear. Outwardly, I had expressed disclaimers as to my abilities. Simultaneously I had been in the position of wanting to teach, but terrified someone would show. Self-defeated if no one did and not surprised when this was the outcome. And in the midst of all this density, it was easy to loose track of the light of inspiration that called me to begin with! Now, it certainly doesn't take too much time to see clearly what I had been creating for myself. My story created the circumstances, which in turn affirmed the reality I had created! It's easy to see now, but as we all know, when we are in the mishmash of our stuff, we can be pretty blind. This is why, if we are serious about transformation, we have to keep a close eye on our selves, our thoughts, habits, and our actions. Because no matter how much we want to change or rather to let the false fall away to reveal what is true, wanting needs to translate into the necessary actions to dig in that dirt and pull out the weeds!
When we begin to create our intentions, often times they will show us where we need to begin the inner work. We may come up against resistance to seeing our selves in the highest place, fear of creating what we really want, realizing that the alignment is off because we have a message that questions our worthiness. Sometimes help is needed to learn how to dig in that dirt. Over time and with the practice of this process, we learn how to see the falsehoods, how to chip away the old and create a new vision, plant that seed in the YN session and over time change out our seed stock!
Last, but not least, Intentions work with the grace of Spirit. There is a force that is always present and aiding us. As we become to willing to release that old baggage, we become more aware of the ever present Presence. With Amrit Method Yoga Nidra, we begin to sense that we are not this personality but 'something much bigger'. And that 'something' already holds all we could wish to manifest. It's all there waiting. It is in the journey, not the destination. Come join us!
Peace~
Sunday, March 7, 2010
healing on all levels
So, I have an 'imbalance' in this physical body. It's name or label is not important for the purpose of this entry. And in some traditions of healing they do not label the dis-ease. Instead, they ascertain the way the body out of whack and then bring the system(s) back into alignment. That said, I have also felt that once we name something, call it out loud, we solidify it in the body and mind. There is an aiding in the creation of the condition, in it's manifestation. Many ancient spiritual traditions have realized that the spoken word is very powerful. As we speak, we turn energy into form. I have come to see that this is a factor in illnesses.
The level of sensitivity I have grown accustomed to in my body, is greater than many, yet less than others. However, although I have often felt the frustration and obsessions of this awareness, it has been an amazing learning tool for me. It is a strength, that allows me to be guided at a very deep intuitive level of my being. It is also a vehicle for me to be of service in helping others connect to their deeper voice of truth within themselves. Though, this is very natural for me, it can be cultivated by those willing to listen deeply.
My experience has shown me over the years, that while our healing can be facilitated through medications or natural therapies, true healing goes much deeper and requires listening to our emotions, our thoughts or beliefs, and the soul/spirit. We are multi-layered with subtle energies that play a role in our physical well-being. This is the body-mind-spirit concept. Add to that, if one is so inclined to believe, we come into this life carrying karmic patterns, that are seeds waiting to sprout, when conditions are ripe. Illnesses, 'imbalances' or 'dis-ease' are our teachers. We have lessons to learn through each healing process!
In this go-around, I am less fearful. Fear has been one of the lessons over the years I have had the opportunity to dance with. I would lay in bed nights, terrified of this or that. Not able to say the word cancer or would cringe if the subject turned up on tv or movies. When I was in the throes of alcoholism and making incredibly irresponsible decisions, Aids was breaking onto the scene. I would spend nights in paranoia and sweats. I have had a doctor who in the past would not tell me the symptoms of certain conditions, because my mind was way too active and my body too sensitive. She understood the connections and she understood how I would run with things, creating more suffering than necessary. That was years ago and fears have turned into faith. I feel more empowered in times of 'imbalance' and the focus is not so much about the 'problem', the focus is on the learning.
Let me lay it out in the language of specifics. I'd like to share just a couple of examples to clarify. I have experienced lymph swelling in my neck, for months on end. On the physical level, I needed to give up soy, dairy, caffine, wheat & sugar. But the clincher was on the emotional level. I had to learn to speak my mind, particularly use my voice to say "Hey, this isn't ok." I found I could use the foods minimally. However, there were times, when I was not even aware that emotionally I was 'stuffing' my voice, until the lymph would swell. The 'imbalance' was my guide, not my enemy. Immediately, as soon as I spoke my mind, listened to what was true, the swelling would disappear. This was my first concrete lesson that this connection of mind-body-spirit was indeed true, not just a concept or philosophy, but fact. Energetically speaking, this would be the Fifth Chakra. It holds the energy and consciousness of communication, surrender & judgment to name a couple of qualities.
In the third day of recovering from a kidney infection, which was the first day I was able to sit up, while reading the book, "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolfe, I broke down in deep sorrowful tears and sobs. I connected with some deep pain around my femininity and felt such a deep sadness. But the amazing thing was, that as I cried, I literally felt the intense pain in the kidney gradually dissipate. By the time I was done crying over a 20 minute period, the kidney pain was gone! The Second Chakra corresponds with the kidneys and reproductive organs. This center houses our fears, denser or heavier emotions ie anger & sadness, sexuality, relationships.
For almost a year I had a constant hacking cough. Now, I was smoker for 20-some years and had been slowly working on quitting. I attributed this cough to the clearing of these toxic years. I had grown used to it and had more tolerance for it, as I used herbs to aid the process. During a workshop, my first of it's kind, I had an emotional release which took the form of the loudest, longest, growl-iest scream that I could have thought possible, exit me! My cough was no more! The lungs and respiratory system and breasts are in the realm of the Fourth Chakra or Heart Center.
This energy, ideally would express patience, purity of love, compassion. But when there is a shadow aspect, it can be a selfishness, disconnection, grief or resistance to these qualities. (Chakras may be explored more at a later time.)
As these years and lessons have progressed, the sensitivities in the body have as well. Especially during the phase I am in currently. I am shown exactly what I can and can't eat, via craving and repulsion. Things I was craving a month or so ago, such as lots & lots of dark greens has turned into primarily mung beans & rice. Foods that I had no interest in or didn't even like, have now crept into the craving spot. I listen. I trust. I look up the qualities or ask my practitioner/acupuncturist and it is validated that the body knows what it is needing!
Emotionally, I am dropping an armor I have carried as long as I can remember. I am undergoing a startling softening in my whole way of being. I am crying often, speaking more sweetly, and trying to 'prove' myself much less. It leaves me more peaceful, compassionate and accepting of myself, therefore, I can offer the same to others I come in contact with. It also leaves me feeling very exposed, raw and vulnerable. While I used to be afraid of these feelings, I am now sensing a solid grounding and a strength in the vulnerability. I am sensing a truer 'me', an ego present, but more purified and balanced. I know from my past, that nothing can undergo the transformation process without a change in energies and form. The old must go through a death. The toxic emotions, beliefs, energies must become compost or else the toxicity spreads. Once the die off occurs, rebirth takes place. New vital cells replace the old, with the help of learning the lessons. Not repeating the actions, behaviors etc that are poison to our beings. My armor may have protected me at one time, but it's use is outdated. I have to let it go or the protector becomes the perpetrator. It is not always easy to embrace a new way of being. It can be scary, unknown, and vulnerable. But we are creatures of adaptability, more accurately, we are evolving beings.
I believe it is my spiritual path and responsibility to change, evolve & transform. To transmute my fears into faith. Often that is at the very crux of all lessons. Fear & Faith can not be held simultaneously. Fear creates toxicity in the body and in the subtle bodies, it will create chaos in the systems. Learning to let go has ramifications on all levels.
I feel blessed that I have the ability to move through these times with faith. My heart goes out to those who perceive their existence one dimensionally; who feel at the mercy of their biology or are unable to find faith and peace in whatever their journey brings. And especially those who continue to suffer in old ways of being, when maybe their saving grace could be found in a complete emotional, mental or spiritual overhaul. But for some, I understand, it's not time. That too must also be held with clarity by those of us trying to help others.
My learning on this present lesson is just in it's baby stages and I am so grateful for the inner shifts already. We never know the outcome of things, but I trust that as long as I follow the guidance within, it will be exactly as it should be.
Big Love & Blessings ~ Lotus
The level of sensitivity I have grown accustomed to in my body, is greater than many, yet less than others. However, although I have often felt the frustration and obsessions of this awareness, it has been an amazing learning tool for me. It is a strength, that allows me to be guided at a very deep intuitive level of my being. It is also a vehicle for me to be of service in helping others connect to their deeper voice of truth within themselves. Though, this is very natural for me, it can be cultivated by those willing to listen deeply.
My experience has shown me over the years, that while our healing can be facilitated through medications or natural therapies, true healing goes much deeper and requires listening to our emotions, our thoughts or beliefs, and the soul/spirit. We are multi-layered with subtle energies that play a role in our physical well-being. This is the body-mind-spirit concept. Add to that, if one is so inclined to believe, we come into this life carrying karmic patterns, that are seeds waiting to sprout, when conditions are ripe. Illnesses, 'imbalances' or 'dis-ease' are our teachers. We have lessons to learn through each healing process!
In this go-around, I am less fearful. Fear has been one of the lessons over the years I have had the opportunity to dance with. I would lay in bed nights, terrified of this or that. Not able to say the word cancer or would cringe if the subject turned up on tv or movies. When I was in the throes of alcoholism and making incredibly irresponsible decisions, Aids was breaking onto the scene. I would spend nights in paranoia and sweats. I have had a doctor who in the past would not tell me the symptoms of certain conditions, because my mind was way too active and my body too sensitive. She understood the connections and she understood how I would run with things, creating more suffering than necessary. That was years ago and fears have turned into faith. I feel more empowered in times of 'imbalance' and the focus is not so much about the 'problem', the focus is on the learning.
Let me lay it out in the language of specifics. I'd like to share just a couple of examples to clarify. I have experienced lymph swelling in my neck, for months on end. On the physical level, I needed to give up soy, dairy, caffine, wheat & sugar. But the clincher was on the emotional level. I had to learn to speak my mind, particularly use my voice to say "Hey, this isn't ok." I found I could use the foods minimally. However, there were times, when I was not even aware that emotionally I was 'stuffing' my voice, until the lymph would swell. The 'imbalance' was my guide, not my enemy. Immediately, as soon as I spoke my mind, listened to what was true, the swelling would disappear. This was my first concrete lesson that this connection of mind-body-spirit was indeed true, not just a concept or philosophy, but fact. Energetically speaking, this would be the Fifth Chakra. It holds the energy and consciousness of communication, surrender & judgment to name a couple of qualities.
In the third day of recovering from a kidney infection, which was the first day I was able to sit up, while reading the book, "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolfe, I broke down in deep sorrowful tears and sobs. I connected with some deep pain around my femininity and felt such a deep sadness. But the amazing thing was, that as I cried, I literally felt the intense pain in the kidney gradually dissipate. By the time I was done crying over a 20 minute period, the kidney pain was gone! The Second Chakra corresponds with the kidneys and reproductive organs. This center houses our fears, denser or heavier emotions ie anger & sadness, sexuality, relationships.
For almost a year I had a constant hacking cough. Now, I was smoker for 20-some years and had been slowly working on quitting. I attributed this cough to the clearing of these toxic years. I had grown used to it and had more tolerance for it, as I used herbs to aid the process. During a workshop, my first of it's kind, I had an emotional release which took the form of the loudest, longest, growl-iest scream that I could have thought possible, exit me! My cough was no more! The lungs and respiratory system and breasts are in the realm of the Fourth Chakra or Heart Center.
This energy, ideally would express patience, purity of love, compassion. But when there is a shadow aspect, it can be a selfishness, disconnection, grief or resistance to these qualities. (Chakras may be explored more at a later time.)
As these years and lessons have progressed, the sensitivities in the body have as well. Especially during the phase I am in currently. I am shown exactly what I can and can't eat, via craving and repulsion. Things I was craving a month or so ago, such as lots & lots of dark greens has turned into primarily mung beans & rice. Foods that I had no interest in or didn't even like, have now crept into the craving spot. I listen. I trust. I look up the qualities or ask my practitioner/acupuncturist and it is validated that the body knows what it is needing!
Emotionally, I am dropping an armor I have carried as long as I can remember. I am undergoing a startling softening in my whole way of being. I am crying often, speaking more sweetly, and trying to 'prove' myself much less. It leaves me more peaceful, compassionate and accepting of myself, therefore, I can offer the same to others I come in contact with. It also leaves me feeling very exposed, raw and vulnerable. While I used to be afraid of these feelings, I am now sensing a solid grounding and a strength in the vulnerability. I am sensing a truer 'me', an ego present, but more purified and balanced. I know from my past, that nothing can undergo the transformation process without a change in energies and form. The old must go through a death. The toxic emotions, beliefs, energies must become compost or else the toxicity spreads. Once the die off occurs, rebirth takes place. New vital cells replace the old, with the help of learning the lessons. Not repeating the actions, behaviors etc that are poison to our beings. My armor may have protected me at one time, but it's use is outdated. I have to let it go or the protector becomes the perpetrator. It is not always easy to embrace a new way of being. It can be scary, unknown, and vulnerable. But we are creatures of adaptability, more accurately, we are evolving beings.
I believe it is my spiritual path and responsibility to change, evolve & transform. To transmute my fears into faith. Often that is at the very crux of all lessons. Fear & Faith can not be held simultaneously. Fear creates toxicity in the body and in the subtle bodies, it will create chaos in the systems. Learning to let go has ramifications on all levels.
I feel blessed that I have the ability to move through these times with faith. My heart goes out to those who perceive their existence one dimensionally; who feel at the mercy of their biology or are unable to find faith and peace in whatever their journey brings. And especially those who continue to suffer in old ways of being, when maybe their saving grace could be found in a complete emotional, mental or spiritual overhaul. But for some, I understand, it's not time. That too must also be held with clarity by those of us trying to help others.
My learning on this present lesson is just in it's baby stages and I am so grateful for the inner shifts already. We never know the outcome of things, but I trust that as long as I follow the guidance within, it will be exactly as it should be.
Big Love & Blessings ~ Lotus
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