power of mantra on LA freeways ~ the rubber meets the road!

Remember Sammy Hagar's song, "I Can't Drive 55"? I think it can be agreed upon that he meant, he can't drive as slow as 55 mph. There was a time when I could totally relate to that. Heavy footed, tail-gating, fearlessly weaving in and out of traffic, fueled by adrenalin and loving that fast, stress fix!

Well, that was a different life, prior to embracing the healing and peacefulness of yoga, at which time, "I Can't Drive 55" became quite literal. Driving 55 mph felt almost too fast. I avoided it whenever I could! No longer comfortable in speedy situations, 55 mph felt like a reasonable speed limit on the freeway for me.

Now a new life is beginning, once again. I have left the quiet of my humble abode, my routine, knowing where I am going and never needing to take the freeway. I have flung myself into life in the fast lane and picking up my snail pace in uncharted territory. This week I have begun the crash course in driving in the City of Angels! Last weekend, thankfully, I had 2 co-pilots for my test run. Just this past Wednesday and today (Friday), I was on my own, flying solo.

To many of you, these trials and turmoil may sound silly, but for me, navigating 3 to 4 different freeways in one outing, brings an on-set of anxiety. Wednesday as I set out, palms sweaty and bringing my attention to deepen and slow my breath, I realized this as the perfect opportunity to invoke the practice of mantra.

Feeling myself very much in the physical world, needing to stay grounded, praying for the removal of any obstacles along my path or those in the form of stories in the mind, I began chanting a mantra for Ganesha. The elephant god, is rooted in the 1st chakra, helps remove obstacles, aids in physical world manifestation, as well as prosperity. Invoking Ganesha is recommended at the beginning of any endeavor, which is appropriate on many levels in my life right now!

I began chanting and in no time at all a clear calm became my reality verses anxiety. Continuing for the duration of the trip and home, the power of mantra passed the test of rubber meeting the road! Today as I ventured out to Bel-Air, the anxiety was mild to begin with, but after my return home by 12 noon, I was feeling a wonderful sense of freedom, new born confidence and inner peace.

Once the mantra is established within, I find it has a life of it's own. The pace, the vibration, the length of the words and even the rhythm find their own movement within. The mind remains clear and focused, heart quiet and open. I was able to travel with traffic accordingly, no worries to whether I was flying or at a stand still, no worries about the other traveling next to or behind me. There was no where to be but where I was.

I still have many areas of the city and it's freeways with which to continue this practice. It is comforting to know that there is always Presence whenever we turn toward it. That even in the worldliness of LA's pace and vast array of all walks of life and environments, I can call and be held; trust in whatever is to be; fly with Spirit wings at 70 mph or sit with Stillness even in bumper to bumper traffic!

There is much gratitude for this new chapter, for those who are a part of it and for the new lesson's around each corner ~ Jai Maa

aparigraha/non-clinging into faith & trust

As a companion piece to May's newsletter, I want to explore more of the last of the five Yamas we have been covering, 'aparigraha'. This is basically the principle of non-clinging or non-attachment. And how do we enter into the 'non' state, the letting go and releasing of the objects of our attachment?

Although this is the practice that has been introduced for the month of May, it has been both a friend and foe that I have been dancing with for the last 3 weeks! In the middle of April, we took a trip to Los Angeles to explore our future home. Prior to leaving, 'I' had a plan of action as to how 'I' wanted this next phase of my story to unfold. I am sure I am not the only one who has had this assumption, only to learn, 'I' am only one part of the directorial process!

For most of our trip, I was able to witness, that is to say, be in the mode of observing, not reacting, when 'my' plan started to go a little haywire. I recognized that I could obsess on what was NOT going my way, or I could be watchful as to the hints of what direction I was being encouraged into. As we returned home, I felt in the flow and very open to what I felt was the next move for me to make.

This is when it got interesting and entertaining! For the next 2 1/2 weeks or so, I proceeded to play a game of watching a succession of attachments and clinging, coupled with the natural states of this dynamics, elation and disappointment. You know, how when you feel so elated and fixate on what that new idea, situation, person, place or thing is, and then when it doesn't quite turn out the way the fantasy had it pictured, the obvious next experience is disappointment, discouragement or maybe even depression. It's what this material plane is made of, the 'law of what goes up, must come down!'

Yes, to all of the above is the experience I am here to report! Now, as all this was at play, I found amazement ( as I am easily amazed!) to have such a clear awareness of what my energy was was acting out. It would attach and cling like a leach, so to speak, to one desire. The energy could be witnessed moving outward to cling to the object of my desire. There the mind obsessed on it and felt a sense of fear and scarcity to even consider this desire not coming into fruition.

"But wait, this new desire looks even better!" the mind would exclaim, as it found another object to obsess on, while glued to Craiglist. And the previous obsession, of no less than 5 minutes before, was released and faded into oblivion as all the energy of leach-dom, clung to it's new object! And on and on it went.

While I'd like to say that having this awareness and watching the play within me was enough to find reprieve from this game; to put an end to the clinging; and the elation of each new find; or the disappointment when nothing came to fruition, I would be lying. ( This would take us back to the practice of the second Yama, Satya or non-lying.) No, I wasn't so lucky or so skilled, nor did I find relief that easily!

I had lessons in store about pushing the river, forcing my will where it wasn't mean to be forced. I had attachments and obsession, which taught me how dissipated my energy/ prana could become from losing my center, as I focused energy out of myself. The mind became contracted, fixated with 'it's' want, that all perspective was skewed and I saw my tendency to impatience create all sorts of stories in my head. And the underlying causes and conditions of the ego personality were in reaction to beliefs of scarcity and limits, rather than in trust in the perfection of what needed to unfold!

This is an illustration of how attachment, clinging, fears and scarcity affect our way of being in our life. It drains the nervous system, it darkens the light of perception and it makes us cranky!
In this experience I had to see that I was not the one in control. That my need for control was inhibiting the possibilities of manifesting what I believed I wanted. The belief that 'I am the doer', was not working for me! So how do we heal our own unique attachment tendencies?
How do we 'let go'?

We have clearly seen what parigraha, (clinging, attachment and obsession) is. How does aparigraha work in ones life? In this example I have been sharing, I finally had a melt down, a beak down, a fit. Whatever one calls it, but really it was a dramatic moment of surrender. The ego is up against the wall, exhausted and has no choice but to let go! I would also like to report that this was graceful, but again . . . satya, non-lying. It was not pretty, neat or tidy, but oh! so cathartic and healing. Once I was able to let go, to stop being willful and to become open to what was being shown me, I was able to settle into acceptance of 'what was'.

Sometimes we are given exactly what we need, before we realize that it is indeed what we want. That what we need, is what will deliver us to exactly what is for our higher good. And sometimes this happens by roadblocks appearing in our plan, by loss of things we have invested in, or by simply things not coming to fruition. None of these things are 'bad' or 'wrong', it is simply to what degree we are fighting 'what is present ~ in the now'.

The inner Joy was able to expand again, as I surrendered. The mind became more spacious so that new inspiration and awareness could flow back in. And I had stepped into the place of surrender, so I could easily trust that what unfolded would be perfect. There was the ability to hear the heart's alignment and set an intention from it's peace, and not be attached to the outcome. This is where I sit today.

I am so grateful to all my years of practicing yoga, meditation, self-inquiry, prayer and surrender, because this is how I have learned to let go. With this path, the ability to really enter into witness consciousness and be the observer of what is transpiring is freeing. To know that my feelings and fits, my fears and attachments are simply an aspect of ego consciousness. I have learned and continue to get opportunities to practice realizing that, identifying with of 'who I think I am', as in, the stories and drama's of wants and fears, we experience ever day is all just a play of the mind, karma and ego. I certainly don't always get spared the subtle web of this illusion, but in the midst of being caught in the web, I know it is only a web. I know it is a play and at some moment, the light of consciousness will shine again!

The answer therefore as to the 'how' do we let go and practice non-clinging or non-attachment, in my experience, is sitting quietly long enough to recognize that attachment is energy. It is energy of the mind wanting, desiring and needing so strongly that it contracts upon itself. This is the entry point to seeing clearer, and that part of you that is seeing clearer, that is even just barely separated from the point of obsession, is the witness. Practice identifying with that which observes. Strengthen that which observes, the awareness of a quiet part of you which simply watches, without judgment, desire or preference. Use that place within you, to let go from. At that point of inner contentment, in that moment of quiet and watching, notice that you can bring all you into your center, choose to release the need or the focus of the attachment, and rest into whatever the outcome is.

And most of all, remember, it is a practice. Somethings will be easier to release, somethings will be more challenging. This isn't wrong or a failure, it is simply a lesson helping you to see where your depths need healing, acceptance and love. Return to that quiet place daily. It takes time to cultivate the awareness, but the more you go there, the easier it becomes to tap that witness space.

Will I have clear sailing from here as the move and new chapter unfolds? I can't say! But I have faith that I will learn what ever is needed to deliver me into the next level of freedom, love, trust and surrender. I know that I am never navigating this world alone, and everything is connected to the Good. When I hold that truth, even the most turbulent times can be held with a peaceful heart. That for me is all I need to know ~ for today!

Peaceful Journeys to all Life's travelers!