self-care/self-love

Wrap yourself in the cloak of peace. Settle into your own inner softness of being.  Open your heart to your own radiance.  Heal and nourish the scars of sorrow.  Soak in the truths you seek in the quietude.  Choose you first, to fill your reservoir of love for others.

How many times do you wait until your stress levels have peaked to the unbearable before you take a step toward self-nurturance? How long do you put off coping with heavy emotions, until finally they can not be dammed up any longer?  And how many areas of chronic tension are held in your body, inhibiting free  movement, deep sleep, and unfettered joy?

"All of us receive messages from our bodies regularly about what serves our health and well-being and what doesn't. Our bodies know immediately when we are doing something or even thinking of something that doesn't support us."

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Well, if you are like many of us, you wait until you can't put it off anymore! And then how many of you get the feel-good fix, only to turn your attention once again away from your own self-care?! There is an ease in ignoring what is good for us and a challenge in doing what is healing, healthy and nourishing.  For whatever reason for this upside-down perspective, it all to often seems to be the norm, unless we recognize it, remain conscious of it, and with a commitment to our well-being make a decision to take care of ourselves.  Self-care is really a way of communicating to ourselves that: 

"I matter. I love and respect myself. I value my health and well-being."

Recently I had a client/good friend who had been under tremendous stress.  Her life was in transition on all fronts. Her stress levels were running very high, she had numerous false stories running around her brain, and her body was holding layers of tension.  In the midst of her own turmoil, she was also trying to care-take for others in her life with her own empty tank.  She finally had made some time for a much needed session, only to feel the day before, that she was much to stressed and had so much to do, she needed to cancel.  As we talked on the phone, her voice cracking with near tears, I offered a couple of questions.

The answers to the questions allowed her a few moments to think clearer and realize what she really needed was the relaxation and decompressing of stress from the session she had scheduled.  During our time together, with some discussion about all the aspects of her life that were out of balance, a Yoga Nidra meditation and Reiki treatment, she found her footing again.  She gained clarity of the truth of her situation rather than being chased around unconsciously by her internal stories.  Her body relaxed, she had a good cry and she was able to get in touch with feelings she had been holding in.  She gained a deeper peace and clearer mind.  She was so happy she had decided to make time for the session, which in reality allowed her more spaciousness and a clearer sense of what really needed to take place and what could be let go of.

"In order to create health daily, long before illness ensues we need to pay attention to the subtle signals from our bodies about what feels good and what doesn't. . . aches and pains are common but subtle symptoms that often signal that it is time for us to start letting go of what we don't want in life and start using our own power to improve things."

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

This is in no way an isolated event.  Many of us often find ourselves in these circumstances. Self-care allows us to flow through our lives, not unaffected, but better able to cope with the effects of daily stress. For many of us, we need to learn that we deserve to take care of ourselves.  And further, that with self-care maintenance, our body, mind and heart is better served.  As we learn that we feel better, can manage stress and emotions better with a regular regimen of nurturing. We also find we can be more helpful to others and remain centered in our hearts.

When we learn to take care of ourselves, to love ourselves, we are then more available to love others in our lives. When we are harboring stress and contraction, the spaciousness that love needs to flow freely is cut off.  Relax, open, surrender, soften, expand, settle, and release into Self-Care and Self -Love.  You nor those around you will regret it! It's the best discipline we can develop! 

wild inspirations

Recently, I embarked once again on the enticing, soul stirring, inner voyage via Clarissa Pinkola Estes book, 'Woman Who Run With Wolves.'  I first encountered and devoured these stories in 1997, a time of great excitement and upheaval, both inwardly and outwardly.  I was traveling in the Life/Death/Life circle of life. Many aspects of that person were dying away, creating the sprouts of who I was to become.  I was seeing new light within and "re-visioning myself anew" for the first time, consciously! Many deaths and rebirths have occurred since and I indeed have Estes writings to thank for being a guide through the underworlds, which aren't nearly as scary as we tend to think. Clearly, since I felt the call to read these stories again, I recognize that the wheel of Life/Death/Life is turning, one more time for me and I will resurface from her words renewed and transformed!

"The deepest work is usually the darkest.  A brave woman, a wisening woman will develop the poorest psychic land, for if she builds only on the best of her psychic land, she will have for a view of herself, the least of what she is." Estes

During the years I have been seeing clients privately through Inner Journeys sessions, it has been witnessed that relaxation is foundational to opening.  There are secrets carried on the breath.  There are truths which surface with release. There is light and peace awaiting to be given space. There is beauty realized in the often held beliefs of our shadow.  Once opening begins, moving deeper can be experienced as a sacred gift given to the self.  When people come to see me, they are just seeking to feel better about something.

However, usually 'something' deeper, is touched that alerts clients to 'something' else that is stirring below their awareness.  This 'something' may be a grief that has not yet been given voice; repetitive mate choices which render turmoil; a heavy lethargy or depression they can not shake; unknown fears which grip; physical issues which can not be medically founded or disease which has taken root; or simply (which is not simple) living a lack-luster life without dreams or purpose.  I recognize them as myself and vice-verse, as we are all more similar than different, I believe.  I recognize in most of these cases that to feel our lives so completely and deeply, so honestly and authentically, requires bravery and as Estes writes about, that inner Wildness needs to be set free!

"So do not be afraid to investigate the worst. It only guarantees increase of soul power through fresh insights and opportunities for re-visioning one's life and self anew." Estes

All the modalities used in our sessions help to quiet the stories and make safe the mechanisms with which  have been unconsciously put into place in order to cope with life and have been of service. But sooner or later there must be growth or else we become our own captors of out dated coping skills.  This doesn't mean ones life is 'bad'.  We all develop coping skills as a part of being alive.  But as life moves bringing new experiences, we sometimes fall into a rut, or greater. There is a forgetfulness that there is a light trying to shine and a life re-birthed trying to live! Death and rebirth is a natural cycle, yet often times we find comfort in only sustaining a superficial comfort.  This actually inhibits our living fully, with our changing truths or authenticity.  But alas, to venture from comfort does mean that some kind of death must occur.  This is often a time of testing the point of readiness. Sometimes, for all of us, when faced with these forks in the road, we will take the road less traveled, into our own wildness.  Sometimes we have no choice, because our heart knows we can't continue on in the same way any longer. Sometimes, the familiar is chosen, until it can't be any more.

"Compliance causes a shocking realization that must be registered by all woman. That is, to be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves." Estes

Though I mostly work with woman, I have found men too must go through their own breaking away and initiations as well.  Standing in authenticity seems to be both a soul-call, a deep desire and can bring the largest bundle of fear. There will be loss of some kind or another, yet this is where a new freedom and a new self is given flight!

"Sometimes a woman is afraid to be without security or without certainty, for even a short time.  She has more excuses than dogs have hairs. She must simply dive in and stand not knowing what will happen next.  It is the only thing which will retrieve her intuitive nature."    . . .    ". . . causes her to die to an old way of being and step with shivers into a new life, one which is based on an older, wiser kind of knowing." Estes

I have seen much bravery in myself and many others I have worked with. The blooming processes are beautiful! Just dipping the toe or foot in the water for some is the initial bravery needed, even if the high dive hasn't been approached yet.  The timing and readiness is not for me to say.  It is my call to be an usher for these journeys, yet I know not what preparatory measures are needed.  I stay awake and alert to signs if each individual and honor the path they travel.

As I revisit 'Women Who Run With Wolves' these many years later, I see clearly how her stories brought healing which I didn't even know I needed at the time. I see too, how Estes work has deeply influenced the way I approach my own life, the many deaths I surrender to while living this life, the quality of Wildness that expresses through me, and the gifts cultivated in order to be of service to others feeling the urge to break free!

For those feeling the call of your Wild intuitive nature, an Inner Journey must be taken ~ you are invited!

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