enlivened beings

The world we are living in today is very exciting. Granted, there are the existing turmoils and areas of great concern, but is also a part of the worldly existence and the nature of it's duality.  Yet there is an ever increasing understanding of the unlimited Joy, Abundance and Bliss available to each of us, if we tune our minds and heart into those qualities.

It seems too often when people seek healing there isn't the realization that the power lies within them. For those of us acting a vehicles which facilitate healing, in whatever modality that may be, it is important to empower those we work with. We are learning more clearly that we each have a hand in creating our imbalances and that it is truly each of us who are responsible for our healing.

However, I want to move the focus here beyond the healing state. Years ago when I was in the throes of alcoholism, I basically felt like s*#! all the time, yet believed that was 'normal'.  There was relative numbness, feeling 'ok', sometimes more rested and alert, but never really happy in any full sense of the experience.  Then I got sober. Wow! What a difference! My mind and body began to feel much more alive.  There was a greater connection to both ups and downs.  I was beginning to be 'touched' by moments of happiness, which then grew over the years. As I healed on deeper levels, that happiness transformed into Joy! And as I continued on the path of spiritual awakening, transformation continues to morph into expanded states of Bliss, Joy, Love, Peace and Gratitude!

Had I not been prompted by an inner knowing and listened to that guidance, I may have stopped short at mere happiness, feeling that as the ultimate fulfillment.  For awhile I was astounded on a regular basis when I would hit those high peak states of Joy.  Then they became the rule rather than the exception. I refer to this as being enlivened.  There is an active, pulse, an energy always present keeping me tuned into an inner truth of my being. This inner truth is the experience which is imparted by the wisdom and mystical traditions.  It is a growing Light that is born from within as a result of deep healing, purification and recognition that I am NOT the false identifications which I once felt locked into.

This enlivened state may not always be evident. It doesn't mean there aren't times where the veils of illusion don't cover my eyes.  But what can be truly said is that even then, there is the constant thread of Joy, of Light, of knowing, always and forever present!

We are learning at a quickening pace the power of our own minds, how to direct our thoughts, desires, and intentions in order to create not only a life of Joy for ourselves, but the envisioning of a better world.  From my personal perspective, science and spirituality are forming a marriage and with this union, we will all be empowered to raise ourselves up into these higher states of living!

We are realizing we do indeed have a large degree of control over our health and well-being by what kind of thoughts we are thinking. The ancient wisdom of the yogis are popping up in mainstream media as science 'proves' the power of mindfulness, meditation and harnessing our thought patterns. All of this information streaming to us via varying sources is returning us into our own hands, encouraging us to claim responsibility for ourselves, our happiness, our fulfillment, our process of enlivening.

Though for some this may feel more challenging, but ultimately the rewards are boundless. This new paradigm does require accountability, a letting go of old ways and habits, shifting our understanding of how we, as human beings are evolving, and engaging our will to move through tough spots.  There is no denying that if one has been entrenched with the programming of the past, it will take some effort. That being said, I have also learned through my experience, that when we seek to align our will with the highest of good, there is a force that supports that intention.  This force, God, Goddess, Spirit, the Universe, Higher Power . . . assists in the endeavor, bestows grace and guidance.  We are not alone making this journey into a higher Love.  We must open the door though, and make the first effort.

We never need to settle for just 'getting by' in our emotional and spiritual life, living a life of numbness, mediocrity, or moving a notch above depressed.  These are just starting points.  We have the potential and tools to be deeply at Peace, Joyful, Ecstatic, and Blissful.  These are not emotions, they are states of consciousness and qualities of being.

Those just beginning a healing journey, which I see as a journey back to remembering your wholeness and Holiness, the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly awaits!  Don't stop when you just start to feel 'better'. There is much more out there waiting for you to wake up to as you become an Enlivened Being!

Blessings along your path!

bissful depth diver

"I must be a mermaid Rango. I have no fear of the depths and great fear of shallow living."

anias ninn

I must be a mermaid then, too.  This is what I have come to understand from the first time I read this quote by Anais Ninn.  While I love to dance and sing in the sun, I also am called by the subtle but powerful pull of the moon.  Were we all the same, with the same purpose on this Earth, in the life, what a lackluster existence we would have. As the saying goes, we need all the colors of the rainbow, each streaming into the next, and offering us a new light through which to see the world.

For us to be inspired, we require different muses at different times along our journey.  I have had great teachers who helped me to be more gentle, just as I have had those who have modeled power.  At different times, each called to me for exactly what and when I needed to transform.  There are so many amazing teachers and guides leading our revolution of higher consciousness through their Joy and Light.  They teach us how to look to the light, raise our minds and open our heart into a vibration of love.  There is a richness and a much needed up-liftment from the shallow, surface, sleepwalking many of us have been programmed into.  Many suffer from chronic issues, physical, emotional and spiritual, from which joy, laughter and community is the medicine.  And many live in a kind of numbness, disconnected from true joy or sadness. I am forever grateful to that medicine that lifts my Spirit to it's heights and those who imparted it to me!

And yet, for me, in this life, as joyful as I am most of the time, I must be a mermaid of sorts, according to Ninn.  I marry my light into the depths and shadows of Soul exploration. What breaks my heart open into a greater love, are the mysteries of our lives and our deaths, the bitter-sweetness of the change that cause us to stop and look within.  There is a Beauty and a Joy present in being able to touch my own sorrow and help another to touch theirs. There is an ache within, that is a blessing, as it always calls me into my own center where I find my deepest connection to God/Goddess. 

Through the years of meditation and yoga practice, the light and shadow have found peace with one another.  I can't live with just one. I wouldn't want to. The gift that this has given me, is the ability to hold space for those in pain, suffering, ill or dying.  We all experience loss and many suffer. I believe suffering is  an option, which I also don't hold a negative meaning to the word. I don't always remove myself from it, so that I may learn from it.  It is a gift to not feel I must shun my own pain, escape it or make it go away.  This is the gift I  have the opportunity to share with others.

Because I am able to befriend my own shadow, meet it consciously, with love and compassion, I can be of service to others in these times of need.  Going on a journey into our depths frees us up to be more present in our dancing and singing in the sun. 

Many are still frightened by those times Life calls them 'down'. It is a cultural habit of ours to find the 'feel better' fix, without recognizing and appreciating the need for diving into the depths!  So, thanks to all those who have given permission to listen to what kindles my flame and amazing teachings to illustrate the Joy and Bliss hidden within the shadows!

All of you who keep shining the light ~ many thanks! and those of you who are blissful depth divers or those feeling nudged to awaken through that healing power, let's bring the polarities of the light and dark into Union, that we may discover our Wholeness!

Learning to See by Byron Lindley

LEARNING TO SEE

She learned in ways

uncivilized by man

the books they gave her

couldn’t speak

to the heart

the jumble of words

twisted inside

covers of cardboard

confuse the mind

let’s go outside

converse with stars

listen to leaves

whisper secrets

along strings of time

blown on a breeze

she could feel the Earth

beneath her feet

holding her up

with delicate strength

a gentle giant

like a teddy bear

who’s been abused

by generations of insensitivity

but she can feel

the pain

and the joy

present within

each moment of time

not wasting them

in sterile classes

built on equations

authoritarian

memorization

detention

for speaking with  angels

do what you’re told

the prize at the end

a piece of paper

she couldn’t comprehend

their consternation

and they

were just as baffled

when she said

I want to be here now

but what of your future

they cried

with hand-wringing concern

it never comes

she replied with a smile

walked outside

to sing to the grasses

blowing and growing

in meadow classrooms

beyond the lies

of a world gone mad

taught to pupils

with Ritalin eyes

forced conformity

in old fairytales

that make no sense

in the language of truth

we learn the hard way

when Babylon falls

but she already knew

when she came in

that tress and stars

hold more wisdom

than wars of fear

and religious dominion

take me away

from insanity

I’ll follow the breeze

on the music she sings

of ancient souls

calling you in

time to begin

healing within

Mother of time

forgive our sins

one and the same

she touches the Earth

a little girl

with healing hands

my faith renews

I smile inside

through the darkness

a new light shines

copyright by Byron Lindley

from ‘A Portait of Soul’

cycles of Ma Nature

The season of Spring-time is approaching and new life is abundant. We see this in the rituals and tales of the traditions of Mother Nature. This year, the first day of spring reaches us on Tuesday, March 20, 2012.  This day is one of only two days of the year, in which our day light and night time is the same length of time. In the pagan path, this holiday is named Ostara, for the Goddess Ostara.  It is the celebration of the returning light, warmth, time for planting and the rebirth of nature, after the long cycle of winter.  Easter eggs have been a symbol of this season to signify fertility and the birthing of new life.  We also see that Christianity, in it's effort to bring paganism into 'it's accord', celebrates Easter (or Eostre in the Germanic language) to symbolize the  rising of Christ 3 days after his crucifixion on the cross. 

In all of life's cycles, we witness, birth, life and death.  Plants grow, give their fruit, and return to the earth, reviving the soil for the following cycle of life.  Nothing really is born or dies, there is just a change of form. Seasons change bringing us the Spring of new life, the Summer of sustenance, the fading of Fall, and the death and hibernation of Winter. Day and night cycle light and dark, sun and moon, wakefulness and sleep.

Even our man-made structures, over time begin to crumble to the ground, experiencing the pull of gravity back to the earth. (Of course, there are man-made objects that unfortunately defy this cycle, and as we know create difficulty within our material world. There is something to be learned here, and yet, someone else is much more equipped for that conversation.)

If we are a part of nature and her living order, what is it that leads us away from the harmonizing and balancing of her ways?  If we pay attention, we can witness in ourselves the push and pulls of these larger cycles, as well as the minute ones within our being.

On the grand cycle, we are born into Spring.  We relish the blossoming into the sun of Summer, which is a lengthy season of our life.  Eventually, we feel our inner Fall approaching, and inward dance attempts to catch our attention.  And finally, for everyone, Winter will arrive to bring us into our core Self and the body will return to the Earth. 

And what happens on the smaller scale of our internal/external cycles?  I will venture to say that the majority of us are put off by the onset of the Fall and Winter of our existence on the grand scale of things.  So, I have to wonder, does that anxiety or fear of the 'big Winter', carry over to the smaller cycles which attempt to call us within? And do we understand the importance of the life's cycles and rhythms that bring us in from fun in the sun?

Technically we are still in Winter.  If we haven't yet, we still have an opportunity to explore the gifts of what Winter can share.  When we hear a call from within, a call that is asking us for rest, inner quiet and reflection, can we respond to it, instead of getting a cup of coffee, a 5-Hour energy drink, or going for a run, in order to soften into that gentle inner voice.  Find a quite nook with a warm cup of (non-caffinated) tea and a lovely window to simply sit and watch nature. Here in Los Angeles it can feel like Summer most of the time. However, when my mind just doesn't feel like working, I do my best to honor that cycle my body is expressing.  I take a blanket out into the yard, stretch out with the warmth of the sun bathing me, and listen to the birds and watch the breeze through the trees.  Even if you feel like taking a relaxing hike along a trail,  at some point - STOP,  find a place to sit and be.  There are times that even the tiniest thing we 'do', interferes with the magic, beauty and power of BEING.

It is in these moments of allowing the nurturing of 'down time' that without 'doing' anything, the Soul has an opportunity to communicate with us.  As our body slows, the breath slows, stress is released, and the heart begins to open and a sweet song sings forth.  This is a song that we have to become still and quiet enough to hear.  It is a song of Soul, that connects us to what is true for our being.  However, if we are to hear it's message and tune, we must stop.  We must become still ~ consciously and with wakefulness.

We are always dying to things.

We're always shedding everything

in order to be fully alive 

& resurrected at every moment.

unknown

Healing come to us on all levels with this kind of practice.  It reminds us of our wholeness that is always present in spite of our doing to become whole, productive, and proving our existence.  This healing softens our beliefs and ideas, it brings us close to our fears so we can be freed of them.  Too often, too many of us  move through our days like a kinked hose or a knotted rope, without realizing this.  Illness happens here, blocking the organic flow that heals.  The mind becomes rigid with too much information because we don't give it an opportunity to unload what is really not necessary.  Emotions become convoluted and confused without the stillness and consciousness to be present to what we are experiencing.

This is the healing that the cycles of Fall and Winter bring.  It is an internal time when what is no longer needed dies away, what is needed has time to integrate into our heart. Our lessons are digested.  We are revitalized and prepared for a re-birth, for Spring, to not only dance in the light but become the Light!

We can not always live in the light of Spring and Summer, without the balance of Fall and Winter.  And just as night and day are alive and well in all seasons, in all days, this is an invitation to listen inwardly to the cycles of nature balance within you.  Treat yourself to the nourishment of those times of peace and quite.  Relish in the full spectrum of emotions and let them flow through and cleanse you!  This may last for a day or only an hour.  It may show up once a week or once a month.  Let go of the fight of the mind to 'keep going', become conscious of the stories you hold and allow those realizations to bring healing as well!

Prepare for the full light and birth of Spring, by surrendering and softening into the last days of Winter!  Gift yourself with the aliveness of your inner world, your Souls call, the process of integration, maturation and rejuvenation!  Experience the "Ahhh" of emptiness. You will blossom in all realms of physical, mental, emotional and spiritual as you tune into this new dance.


Spring Blessings ~

embracing aging & death consciously

This amazing Trevor Hall song, with complete lyrics on youtube, creates the tone for this blog entry.
Please give it a listen and allow yourself to be moved ~

Trevor Hall ~ House 

'that there is a road far beyond

far beyond the streets & the cars

far beyond the clouds & the stars

far beyond what we call God . . . 

well my body said just turn & run

but then I felt the light of the sun

in the heart that I thought had just died 

started coming slowly alive

we awoke in the mansion above 

and call it LOVE '

In part 2 of the Ram Dass video talk on my Inner Journeys Facebook page, he is sharing about conscious aging and conscious dying.  He has worked with death and dying for years and through his talk he is sharing that the suffering we all potentially face when we move into aging and death are far greater if we hold the perception of attachment to the body, the ego identity, and clinging to what was.  From his experience, this is what he says:

"I work with dying people all the time and those people who think they are their body are frightened.  But when I work with those people who are connected to Soul, they understand that the body is dying, but they are not identified with the body that is changing.  They enter the period of death and dying with equanimity."

He also expresses his belief that the time of becoming an elder is about consciously moving into the arena of exploring ourselves beyond the body and programmed mind. Sadly, one thing we can be sure of is that in mainstream society, support for conscious aging and dying is relatively slim. Even, as there is a progressive movement that sees the need for productive aging as a step in the right direction, which I also support, it is still externally focused.  There is still an expectation that we remain 'productive' and 'active' in the outside world.  The longer we can do this, then we are aging successfully.

It is so vital to stay healthy, engaged, being of service, living passionately, and learning at all stages.  In no way does the philosophy of conscious aging/dying need to negate this quality of life.  However, if we do not practice the inner connection, in conjunction, and listen inwardly to a deeper voice, we may only selling short our potential to bring a new depth and richness to our lives.  We may also be setting ourselves up for more fear, suffering, and pain as we encounter stages of decline.

To do inner work consciously it is important that we accept that aging an death are realities that are ahead of us. That we will face changes in our body, our looks, our stamina.  When our focus is honed on what is outside of us, how will we discover the riches within our beings?  How do we age and enter the arms of death gracefully and peacefully? How do we learn to experience that we are so much more expansive than our body allows us to be?

This is a responsibility that Ram Dass believes, lies in the process of aging.  We have to be the ones to choose consciously for ourselves, to explore beyond the realm of the tangible, the senses, the physical form.  Particularly individuals who hold more fear can be helped to live more fully, when they are not as fearful of aging and dying! 

All the mystical teachings, of all religions are preparing us for letting go into that which is greater than the personality we identify with.  Pieces of this process can happen naturally as we age.  When we see our elders letting go of preferences, when we witness them daydreaming peacefully, when we recognize they are sleeping more, when we hear them speak of loved ones who have died, appearing to them.  These are all phases of letting go. This is how consciousness begins to expand. Some will fight this, some family and loved ones will want them to keep them 'attached'.

Letting go is one of the lessons, if not the biggie in all of life!  We will either face surrender kicking and screaming, in pain and fear; or we will practice it as part of our life, embrace it with peace, joy and wonderment.  We each have to make these choices for ourselves.  Fortunately, there are so many paths, so many practices, spiritually focused or less spiritually focused, for each of us to explore to make our journey deep, rich, and joyful.

Conscious aging and dying is growing in momentum!  Many are desiring to make their last years not only full in the external world, but feel the desire to connect more deeply in ones internal world.  I am so thankful to be a part of that journey, for my own peace and for others.

You are invited!

opening deeper

Love.  This is the month of February, of Valentines Day, of the celebration of Love.  Actually it is the celebration of our experience of romantic love!  The bliss, the electricity, the giddiness and butterflies for 'the one'!  This love is full of excitement, the thrill of the unknown's of the person who has sparked us.  We feel the energy in the tummy, the preoccupation in the mind, the sexual charge that sometimes we confuse with the heart . . . and yes, we feel the beat quickening of the heart!  It is a safety zone of all is well, fabulous, fun and new! And indeed it is! The chemistry is literally fueling through our body. The cells, the brain, the hormones, the heart are all touched by this chemistry of 'love'.

I believe it is safe to say we have all experienced this at least once in our lives.  It hangs us on the edge of opening to another, opening to ourselves, and simultaneously dangles the fear of heartache that we imagine may be just around the corner!  One of my favorite teachers, Stephen Levine and his wife Ondrea, teach about healing into the death and dying process.  However, the work that they share is really about healing our fears, and inevitably opening the heart to whatever shows up.

Their teachings of remaining open in the face of fear, pain, dissolution at death, I find applicable in all area's of life.  Because it is about living in each moment more fully ~ no matter what!  As we move deeper into our relationships, particularly our romantic relationships, all of our fears are eventually brought to the surface.  It is then that the practices of staying present, connected with our emotions of vulnerability, insecurity, fear of loss, resistance to change, jealousy, etc. has the opportunity to heal these sensitive spots and bring us closer to our Beloved.

The challenge is staying present. Breathing. Allowing.  Just as we all have experienced the excitement and expectations of romance, we have just as assuredly felt these moments when the heart wants to clamp down from it's wide open spaciousness.  When the mind begins to run with stories of impending doom and the pain of heartache!  We want to blame, shame and protect our fragility in any way we can.  Our core issues of feeling less than, maybe unlovable, possibly the fatal loss, touch off a myriad of deeply buried stories that only 'love' has the power to exhume!

But such power comes forth from within us in these times of vulnerability. To stay present and watch. Keep breathing and feel fully the pain, the fear, the constriction. This is what opens the door of the heart even wider to a greater love.  This is a love that brings two lovers together, with deeper intimacy, clearer understanding and more compassion. These qualities extend to and through both lovers.  We are able to touch in the other, what they are truly needing and we are able to give these same qualities to ourselves.  Allowing without the stories of blame or how we think 'things should be', frees up space to experience 'how things really are'.  This in itself is expansive and begins to help us cultivate a deeper love for ourselves and our partner.  It cultivates compassion and gentleness for ourselves.  No matter which side of the coin our actions are on, it cultivates raising our consciousness.

I feel blessed to have walked the path of cultivating conscious relationships.  I feel blessed and empowered by the teachings of those who have walked before me and shared their experience.  One of the most important blessings in this life has been to have the skills to stay Present ~ Breathe ~ Allow.  The rewards have been a maturation process in how Love lives through me in my life, the moments of deep connection with my Beloved that have come through the moments of feeling most threatened,  and the bond that this forges.  

Thank God/Goddess for the spiritual tools I have been given and the ongoing practices that support my learning to open and heal at the heart level!  There is so much gratitude for the spark that brings us together, but for me the magic is most prominent in the consciousness it takes to deepen in relationship, consciously, with an ongoing expansiveness that comes through the intimacy that grows when the 'charge' subsides.  The fire that is kindled in its place which grows flames in a more powerful way!

It is the excitement of creating sacred relationship that thrills me. It is the intention to build and sustain a love that continues to open my heart to the fullest with my husband that calls from my soul.  I have trust that this will be our path together, if it is the will of the Universe.  The practicing of opening, healing, breathing and allowing in the present moment is the practice for Love, romantically, which I have the pleasure of watching as it spills over into all aspects of life!

Valentine Blessings for all ~ the gifts of Love which stem from surrendering always with an open heart into all that keeps us separated from our ability to live in Love.

A Conversation:

Connie:  I have a good friend who just got home last week from a retreat . . . she had some amazing epiphanies and now her whole life is in turmoil!

Me:  That's awesome! It sounds like an exciting time!

Connie:  (smirking at me) You just love it when people are miserable, don't you?

Me:  Not at all.  What I love is transformation in people's lives!  You misunderstand the enthusiasm. It's not because there is suffering, it's because transformation, deep change and new beginnings often are accompanied by hard times.

Connie:  Well, yeah. Her whole life is turned upside down, her relationships are struggling and she is feeling scared.

Me:  I hear ya.  I really do understand.  Life is telling her it's time to change, to evolve.  It is also communicating to all those she is in relationship with. It takes courage and trust to let go of what we know and jump into the unknown; to allow the fear and pain and dance with it! It's the evolution that is exciting! It's the freedom on the other side! It's the faith that is gained when we flow with all of Life's changes! That is what I love!

Connie: hmmm.