self-care/self-love

Wrap yourself in the cloak of peace. Settle into your own inner softness of being.  Open your heart to your own radiance.  Heal and nourish the scars of sorrow.  Soak in the truths you seek in the quietude.  Choose you first, to fill your reservoir of love for others.

How many times do you wait until your stress levels have peaked to the unbearable before you take a step toward self-nurturance? How long do you put off coping with heavy emotions, until finally they can not be dammed up any longer?  And how many areas of chronic tension are held in your body, inhibiting free  movement, deep sleep, and unfettered joy?

"All of us receive messages from our bodies regularly about what serves our health and well-being and what doesn't. Our bodies know immediately when we are doing something or even thinking of something that doesn't support us."

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Well, if you are like many of us, you wait until you can't put it off anymore! And then how many of you get the feel-good fix, only to turn your attention once again away from your own self-care?! There is an ease in ignoring what is good for us and a challenge in doing what is healing, healthy and nourishing.  For whatever reason for this upside-down perspective, it all to often seems to be the norm, unless we recognize it, remain conscious of it, and with a commitment to our well-being make a decision to take care of ourselves.  Self-care is really a way of communicating to ourselves that: 

"I matter. I love and respect myself. I value my health and well-being."

Recently I had a client/good friend who had been under tremendous stress.  Her life was in transition on all fronts. Her stress levels were running very high, she had numerous false stories running around her brain, and her body was holding layers of tension.  In the midst of her own turmoil, she was also trying to care-take for others in her life with her own empty tank.  She finally had made some time for a much needed session, only to feel the day before, that she was much to stressed and had so much to do, she needed to cancel.  As we talked on the phone, her voice cracking with near tears, I offered a couple of questions.

The answers to the questions allowed her a few moments to think clearer and realize what she really needed was the relaxation and decompressing of stress from the session she had scheduled.  During our time together, with some discussion about all the aspects of her life that were out of balance, a Yoga Nidra meditation and Reiki treatment, she found her footing again.  She gained clarity of the truth of her situation rather than being chased around unconsciously by her internal stories.  Her body relaxed, she had a good cry and she was able to get in touch with feelings she had been holding in.  She gained a deeper peace and clearer mind.  She was so happy she had decided to make time for the session, which in reality allowed her more spaciousness and a clearer sense of what really needed to take place and what could be let go of.

"In order to create health daily, long before illness ensues we need to pay attention to the subtle signals from our bodies about what feels good and what doesn't. . . aches and pains are common but subtle symptoms that often signal that it is time for us to start letting go of what we don't want in life and start using our own power to improve things."

Christiane Northrup, M.D.

This is in no way an isolated event.  Many of us often find ourselves in these circumstances. Self-care allows us to flow through our lives, not unaffected, but better able to cope with the effects of daily stress. For many of us, we need to learn that we deserve to take care of ourselves.  And further, that with self-care maintenance, our body, mind and heart is better served.  As we learn that we feel better, can manage stress and emotions better with a regular regimen of nurturing. We also find we can be more helpful to others and remain centered in our hearts.

When we learn to take care of ourselves, to love ourselves, we are then more available to love others in our lives. When we are harboring stress and contraction, the spaciousness that love needs to flow freely is cut off.  Relax, open, surrender, soften, expand, settle, and release into Self-Care and Self -Love.  You nor those around you will regret it! It's the best discipline we can develop! 

wild inspirations

Recently, I embarked once again on the enticing, soul stirring, inner voyage via Clarissa Pinkola Estes book, 'Woman Who Run With Wolves.'  I first encountered and devoured these stories in 1997, a time of great excitement and upheaval, both inwardly and outwardly.  I was traveling in the Life/Death/Life circle of life. Many aspects of that person were dying away, creating the sprouts of who I was to become.  I was seeing new light within and "re-visioning myself anew" for the first time, consciously! Many deaths and rebirths have occurred since and I indeed have Estes writings to thank for being a guide through the underworlds, which aren't nearly as scary as we tend to think. Clearly, since I felt the call to read these stories again, I recognize that the wheel of Life/Death/Life is turning, one more time for me and I will resurface from her words renewed and transformed!

"The deepest work is usually the darkest.  A brave woman, a wisening woman will develop the poorest psychic land, for if she builds only on the best of her psychic land, she will have for a view of herself, the least of what she is." Estes

During the years I have been seeing clients privately through Inner Journeys sessions, it has been witnessed that relaxation is foundational to opening.  There are secrets carried on the breath.  There are truths which surface with release. There is light and peace awaiting to be given space. There is beauty realized in the often held beliefs of our shadow.  Once opening begins, moving deeper can be experienced as a sacred gift given to the self.  When people come to see me, they are just seeking to feel better about something.

However, usually 'something' deeper, is touched that alerts clients to 'something' else that is stirring below their awareness.  This 'something' may be a grief that has not yet been given voice; repetitive mate choices which render turmoil; a heavy lethargy or depression they can not shake; unknown fears which grip; physical issues which can not be medically founded or disease which has taken root; or simply (which is not simple) living a lack-luster life without dreams or purpose.  I recognize them as myself and vice-verse, as we are all more similar than different, I believe.  I recognize in most of these cases that to feel our lives so completely and deeply, so honestly and authentically, requires bravery and as Estes writes about, that inner Wildness needs to be set free!

"So do not be afraid to investigate the worst. It only guarantees increase of soul power through fresh insights and opportunities for re-visioning one's life and self anew." Estes

All the modalities used in our sessions help to quiet the stories and make safe the mechanisms with which  have been unconsciously put into place in order to cope with life and have been of service. But sooner or later there must be growth or else we become our own captors of out dated coping skills.  This doesn't mean ones life is 'bad'.  We all develop coping skills as a part of being alive.  But as life moves bringing new experiences, we sometimes fall into a rut, or greater. There is a forgetfulness that there is a light trying to shine and a life re-birthed trying to live! Death and rebirth is a natural cycle, yet often times we find comfort in only sustaining a superficial comfort.  This actually inhibits our living fully, with our changing truths or authenticity.  But alas, to venture from comfort does mean that some kind of death must occur.  This is often a time of testing the point of readiness. Sometimes, for all of us, when faced with these forks in the road, we will take the road less traveled, into our own wildness.  Sometimes we have no choice, because our heart knows we can't continue on in the same way any longer. Sometimes, the familiar is chosen, until it can't be any more.

"Compliance causes a shocking realization that must be registered by all woman. That is, to be ourselves causes us to be exiled by many others, and yet to comply with what others want causes us to be exiled from ourselves." Estes

Though I mostly work with woman, I have found men too must go through their own breaking away and initiations as well.  Standing in authenticity seems to be both a soul-call, a deep desire and can bring the largest bundle of fear. There will be loss of some kind or another, yet this is where a new freedom and a new self is given flight!

"Sometimes a woman is afraid to be without security or without certainty, for even a short time.  She has more excuses than dogs have hairs. She must simply dive in and stand not knowing what will happen next.  It is the only thing which will retrieve her intuitive nature."    . . .    ". . . causes her to die to an old way of being and step with shivers into a new life, one which is based on an older, wiser kind of knowing." Estes

I have seen much bravery in myself and many others I have worked with. The blooming processes are beautiful! Just dipping the toe or foot in the water for some is the initial bravery needed, even if the high dive hasn't been approached yet.  The timing and readiness is not for me to say.  It is my call to be an usher for these journeys, yet I know not what preparatory measures are needed.  I stay awake and alert to signs if each individual and honor the path they travel.

As I revisit 'Women Who Run With Wolves' these many years later, I see clearly how her stories brought healing which I didn't even know I needed at the time. I see too, how Estes work has deeply influenced the way I approach my own life, the many deaths I surrender to while living this life, the quality of Wildness that expresses through me, and the gifts cultivated in order to be of service to others feeling the urge to break free!

For those feeling the call of your Wild intuitive nature, an Inner Journey must be taken ~ you are invited!

soulsguidance.com

the medicine of mate & the master brew

For just over a year I have found a great friend in Yerba Mate.  It never affected me in the same way as the caffeine in coffee or green teas did.  I never experienced the jitters, a crash, or the dehydration with Mate.  What I did experience was really clear thinking and Oh! such happiness!  I mean, happy, positive thoughts, and enthusiasm for life in all the shapes it took.  

We began our move here to Los Angles last spring and it just so happened that was when Mate became my daily companion.  Honestly, I thought I was just so excited to be here, in a new city, a new life, with a new wide open future ahead.  And this was true.  However, little did I realize that the Mate was a medicine to match all the positive happening, and maybe creating an even more enthused me that might not have been without it's help.  Little did I know this, until that is, a couple of months ago.

A couple of months ago, I decided that I was going to let go of this companion, Mate and transition to what a friend of mine calls my 'Master Brew.'  More on that shortly.  In all my years of drinking coffee or green tea, never did I ever go through any kind of with-drawl symptoms.  Of course, that could have something to do with the fact that I transitioned from one to the next.  But in my defense as well, I did have a period of time in Tucson in which I did enjoy a variation of my Master Brew. . . oh yay, that concoction did include raw cocoa powder, didn't it?  Well then, I guess it is safer to say, I have never really been too long without some form of stimulant in my system in a very, very, very long time!

So, as I was saying, a couple months ago I decided to do without my cherished Yerba Mate.  Wow, was I in for a surprise!  Confusion, sleepiness, foggy brain, crankiness and depression set in.  I didn't even know I was going through with-drawl for a few days.  Finally I saw a post on Face Book from someone else who just so happened to be leaving her Mate behind too.  I was relieved to find similar sentiments in her comments and I felt better knowing I wasn't alone in this unsettled state of mind.

I took solace in my Master Brew.  Being what we would refer to in Ayurveda, a Vata-Pitta constitution, my body was really calling out for some balancing, calming, soothing and nourishing.  After a year of transitioning, beginning two new businesses, and also holding a demanding role in my 'job', no wonder I was feeling the need to sooth. A Vata type can only be on go-mode for so long!  The Master Brew fed me on so many levels.  I began to balance out, the fog lifted, the mood rose naturally, and the crankiness softened.

In all honesty though, the Mate held something that I couldn't regain on my own.  I struggled with this odd dependency I was pulled toward, only this time it was conscious.  I played with it.  Every couple of days I would indulge in a Mate, remain present to what it was creating in my mind, and then let it go again.  My sensitivity to it increased with it's absence and I found my desire for it to become balanced as well.  

What I have concluded for myself is that it is a medicine that I can utilize with consciousness.  There are some days when I have a lot of mental work that needs to take place, I do invite the medicine of Mate to aid this process.  There are days when I recognize it is best for me to be in a higher vibe, I invite Mate in to help here too!  However, in this conscious approach, it has been discovered that this body does not always need or desire it's particular vibration and qualities.  There has been an evening out in my system in which it desires to experience peace, an inner quietude, a groundedness that comes with the Master Brew.  

In the end, I find both to be incredibly beneficial to my health, peace of mind and enthusiasm for life.  I feel grateful to this body for communicating to me it's needs and the ability to be conscious in the skills of discernment of the body's messages.  As I have balanced out, the messages are clearer.  I partake without guilt and now the high vibe happiness that used to be ignited by Mate, has found a genuine expression without.  I must admit though, that there is a specific quality of happiness, enthusiasm and clarity, present all at once with the medicine of Mate, that I have yet to perceive all by my little ol' self! And there are days that fullness is accessed!

More and more, it is the Master Brew that calls out to me.  As my meditation & yoga practice are now becoming more consistent, once again, the qualities of peace and calm win out.  The Master Brew for anyone who may wish to explore it's nourishment, along with a few of the many benefits, is as follows:

Ashwaganda Root: 

Boosts immune, combats stress, increase memory & learning, aids anxiety/depression, balances blood sugar & cholesterol, anti inflammatory . . .

Astragalus Root:

Increase vitality & immune system, combats stress, heart health. . .

Cats Claw:

Increase immunity, anti-inflammatory, aids arthritis, positive affect for breast cancer, supports digestion. . .

Pau d'Arco:

Increase Immunity, fights cancers & infections, stimulates red-blood cell production, blood purifier . . .

Holy Basil/Tulsi:

Increase immune, decrease stress, increase mental clarity, antioxidant properties, soothes headaches, supports skin & heart health, balances hormones, increases joy, increases cerebral circulation . . .

Lavender or Rose Petals: 

Both are cooling, calming, soothing and increases the feminine energies. . .

If you need some soothing in this stimulating world, perhaps the Mater Brew will call to you too.  I might add, I am not an herbalist or doc, so always research based on your own health and any medications you might be taking and listen to your body!

Happiness & Health!

katy perry - firework

thank you katy perry

Yesterday we went to see the new movie, "Katy Perry ~ Part of Me."  We loved it and felt great after seeing it.  Not being familiar with her or her music really, I was left humming, singing and smiling! From the personal glimpses in the movie, I really appreciated her joyfulness, humor and enjoyment of life.  I was also taken by the embodiment she has achieved of not only being a beautiful and sexy woman, but she has yoked that with a childlike whimsy and wholesomeness.  Even as she hits the stage, minimally clothed, in a large busted bra with tassels swinging from the  nipples, there is a brightness and charm that is always present.  While it seems like most of her audience is young, even they seem to remain connected to their innocence of candy-fairy land dreams in the midst of singing along with Katy, "I kissed a girl and I liked it . . ."  My favorite aspect of the movie and her message though, is that of embracing who you are, be it geek or starlet, follow your dreams,  find your individual spark of authenticity and let it SHINE!

I am a push-over for true stories, celebrity stories and come-back kid-against the odds stories.  I love to feel inspired and reminded that we all have dreams, we are all filled with inspiration that moves through us, and we all have our own unique purpose of why we are here.  The trick however, is to wade through the conventional expectations and sometimes very real survival aspects of daily life. I do believe we all have dreams, aspirations and a special purpose, but sometimes the reality is that it is way too difficult to FEEL those things are true for us.  We watch those who do live out their dreams and continue to feel it is out of our reach.  It is for those few, not for us.  I believe that is one of the reasons our society is mesmerized with celebrity.  We revere celebrities as royalty, whether they are movie stars, musicians or athletes.  We are intrigued and enamored with the ways we are shown 'they are just like us.'

Of course they are just like us.  Well, maybe not in all ways.  One thing that seems to be consistent for them and maybe a bit different than us average Joe's and Jane's, is that they have dedicated themselves to their dream.  They believe they can reach that star!  They are willing to risk hardship, disappointment, and being thought of as being ridiculous by those around them.  They are also willing to live outside the box of conformity, they are willing to risk the comforts of security and they step out into their fears, the unknown, and allow what comes through them to take the lead.

I certainly don't believe all this is conscious, yet I do believe there is a surrendering process to something bigger than them, whether it all makes sense or not!  I feel we are in awe of the people who push the edges of the box, who risk and put themselves out there, because they reflect to us a part of ourselves.  It is as if we project onto them what we also have within us, but we may fail to recognize our awe is attempting to awaken us to ourselves!  Our own spark is trying to ignite when we get all turned on by those whose names are in lights.

That is another one of the beautiful messages I heard in yesterday's movie . . . We are the spark! Let it shine!
Katie is sending this powerful message to young people today and they are listening.  Those who were interviewed shared how she has helped them to accept themselves, however they are; to reach for what brings them joy, for their dreams; to be true to who they are.

Young people are not the only ones who need to hear this truth.  It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I even began to listen inwardly and believe that I was here to follow my dream, give life to my purpose and come alive in the voice I am here to speak with.  When we wake up later in life, it also means we have to take off the heavy blankets of misconceptions or lies that we have been told.  But that in no way means that the work isn't fruitful and shouldn't be started.  It is never too late to find what we love and give that attention, energy and life.

So, the layers have sometimes slowly, sometimes rapidly been shed as I become more aware of what lies inside of me.  My dreams may not be of stage lights and autographs, yet they are not any less powerful.  I may not have to overcome fears of succeeding/failing in the eyes of millions, yet the fears I get to work through are still scary.  The authenticity of voice may not have to be fought for as those that are under big money contracts, yet I still find I have to delve into self-imposed ideas of how I should let my gifts flow.

It also seems to me, that if we connect to our inspirations, feel them as a voice of guidance, then have the courage to follow them ~ whatever the risks, we would be more creative, more joyful, more peaceful, more whole.  If we as individuals were more creative, joyful, peaceful and whole, that would impact our world in an uplifting way.

I am reminded every time I find myself feeling an energy surge from those who I see as 'making it', that I am seeing myself, my life and my dreams coming to life and hopefully I can touch others in the way Katy is!
 I will close by simply saying 'Thank you Katy Perry! For the playfulness, beauty, authentic expression of your gifts, and uplifting all of our hearts with smiles and possibility!'

enlivened beings

The world we are living in today is very exciting. Granted, there are the existing turmoils and areas of great concern, but is also a part of the worldly existence and the nature of it's duality.  Yet there is an ever increasing understanding of the unlimited Joy, Abundance and Bliss available to each of us, if we tune our minds and heart into those qualities.

It seems too often when people seek healing there isn't the realization that the power lies within them. For those of us acting a vehicles which facilitate healing, in whatever modality that may be, it is important to empower those we work with. We are learning more clearly that we each have a hand in creating our imbalances and that it is truly each of us who are responsible for our healing.

However, I want to move the focus here beyond the healing state. Years ago when I was in the throes of alcoholism, I basically felt like s*#! all the time, yet believed that was 'normal'.  There was relative numbness, feeling 'ok', sometimes more rested and alert, but never really happy in any full sense of the experience.  Then I got sober. Wow! What a difference! My mind and body began to feel much more alive.  There was a greater connection to both ups and downs.  I was beginning to be 'touched' by moments of happiness, which then grew over the years. As I healed on deeper levels, that happiness transformed into Joy! And as I continued on the path of spiritual awakening, transformation continues to morph into expanded states of Bliss, Joy, Love, Peace and Gratitude!

Had I not been prompted by an inner knowing and listened to that guidance, I may have stopped short at mere happiness, feeling that as the ultimate fulfillment.  For awhile I was astounded on a regular basis when I would hit those high peak states of Joy.  Then they became the rule rather than the exception. I refer to this as being enlivened.  There is an active, pulse, an energy always present keeping me tuned into an inner truth of my being. This inner truth is the experience which is imparted by the wisdom and mystical traditions.  It is a growing Light that is born from within as a result of deep healing, purification and recognition that I am NOT the false identifications which I once felt locked into.

This enlivened state may not always be evident. It doesn't mean there aren't times where the veils of illusion don't cover my eyes.  But what can be truly said is that even then, there is the constant thread of Joy, of Light, of knowing, always and forever present!

We are learning at a quickening pace the power of our own minds, how to direct our thoughts, desires, and intentions in order to create not only a life of Joy for ourselves, but the envisioning of a better world.  From my personal perspective, science and spirituality are forming a marriage and with this union, we will all be empowered to raise ourselves up into these higher states of living!

We are realizing we do indeed have a large degree of control over our health and well-being by what kind of thoughts we are thinking. The ancient wisdom of the yogis are popping up in mainstream media as science 'proves' the power of mindfulness, meditation and harnessing our thought patterns. All of this information streaming to us via varying sources is returning us into our own hands, encouraging us to claim responsibility for ourselves, our happiness, our fulfillment, our process of enlivening.

Though for some this may feel more challenging, but ultimately the rewards are boundless. This new paradigm does require accountability, a letting go of old ways and habits, shifting our understanding of how we, as human beings are evolving, and engaging our will to move through tough spots.  There is no denying that if one has been entrenched with the programming of the past, it will take some effort. That being said, I have also learned through my experience, that when we seek to align our will with the highest of good, there is a force that supports that intention.  This force, God, Goddess, Spirit, the Universe, Higher Power . . . assists in the endeavor, bestows grace and guidance.  We are not alone making this journey into a higher Love.  We must open the door though, and make the first effort.

We never need to settle for just 'getting by' in our emotional and spiritual life, living a life of numbness, mediocrity, or moving a notch above depressed.  These are just starting points.  We have the potential and tools to be deeply at Peace, Joyful, Ecstatic, and Blissful.  These are not emotions, they are states of consciousness and qualities of being.

Those just beginning a healing journey, which I see as a journey back to remembering your wholeness and Holiness, the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly awaits!  Don't stop when you just start to feel 'better'. There is much more out there waiting for you to wake up to as you become an Enlivened Being!

Blessings along your path!

bissful depth diver

"I must be a mermaid Rango. I have no fear of the depths and great fear of shallow living."

anias ninn

I must be a mermaid then, too.  This is what I have come to understand from the first time I read this quote by Anais Ninn.  While I love to dance and sing in the sun, I also am called by the subtle but powerful pull of the moon.  Were we all the same, with the same purpose on this Earth, in the life, what a lackluster existence we would have. As the saying goes, we need all the colors of the rainbow, each streaming into the next, and offering us a new light through which to see the world.

For us to be inspired, we require different muses at different times along our journey.  I have had great teachers who helped me to be more gentle, just as I have had those who have modeled power.  At different times, each called to me for exactly what and when I needed to transform.  There are so many amazing teachers and guides leading our revolution of higher consciousness through their Joy and Light.  They teach us how to look to the light, raise our minds and open our heart into a vibration of love.  There is a richness and a much needed up-liftment from the shallow, surface, sleepwalking many of us have been programmed into.  Many suffer from chronic issues, physical, emotional and spiritual, from which joy, laughter and community is the medicine.  And many live in a kind of numbness, disconnected from true joy or sadness. I am forever grateful to that medicine that lifts my Spirit to it's heights and those who imparted it to me!

And yet, for me, in this life, as joyful as I am most of the time, I must be a mermaid of sorts, according to Ninn.  I marry my light into the depths and shadows of Soul exploration. What breaks my heart open into a greater love, are the mysteries of our lives and our deaths, the bitter-sweetness of the change that cause us to stop and look within.  There is a Beauty and a Joy present in being able to touch my own sorrow and help another to touch theirs. There is an ache within, that is a blessing, as it always calls me into my own center where I find my deepest connection to God/Goddess. 

Through the years of meditation and yoga practice, the light and shadow have found peace with one another.  I can't live with just one. I wouldn't want to. The gift that this has given me, is the ability to hold space for those in pain, suffering, ill or dying.  We all experience loss and many suffer. I believe suffering is  an option, which I also don't hold a negative meaning to the word. I don't always remove myself from it, so that I may learn from it.  It is a gift to not feel I must shun my own pain, escape it or make it go away.  This is the gift I  have the opportunity to share with others.

Because I am able to befriend my own shadow, meet it consciously, with love and compassion, I can be of service to others in these times of need.  Going on a journey into our depths frees us up to be more present in our dancing and singing in the sun. 

Many are still frightened by those times Life calls them 'down'. It is a cultural habit of ours to find the 'feel better' fix, without recognizing and appreciating the need for diving into the depths!  So, thanks to all those who have given permission to listen to what kindles my flame and amazing teachings to illustrate the Joy and Bliss hidden within the shadows!

All of you who keep shining the light ~ many thanks! and those of you who are blissful depth divers or those feeling nudged to awaken through that healing power, let's bring the polarities of the light and dark into Union, that we may discover our Wholeness!