happy 2011 new year consciousness!

The New Year of 2011 is arriving! A joyous one to all! Every year around the Solstice and New Year, like many of you, I naturally take stock, reflect, reminisce. In that reflection this year, I find how much gratitude and joy are present in my life! The flow of these qualities grow, as I flow into deeper alignment with my hearts passions. It seems there are cycles of clearing and being present with what has stood in the way of flow, alignment, passion and then new space is created for more fullness of being!

The practice of becoming more and more conscious is indeed a part of this magical cycle. How can it be that one day I am unaware of the blocks and the next, they are staring me in the face? It has gotten to be sort of a humorous game to see what shows up next, what is calling me to awaken just a bit wider from the slumber of living life unconsciously. Yet, I follow the lead of who, what and how the awakening is to happen, remain present and before long enter into freedom.

It is being said that in 2011, as we move toward 2012, it is increasingly important to be mindful of the consciousness we are living in and with. What we surround ourselves with, creates our sense of reality, it creates the quality of our lives and even the health of our bodies. The quality of energy that pulsates through us, will be the qualities of energy we bring into our lives, forming our perceptions of reality.

Howard Thurman's quote always rings true, and it rings loudly for this coming year.
"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come ALIVE. Because what the world needs is people who have come Alive!" When we really listen to the heart's song and passion, we become lifted up and we are met with the aid of the Universe. This doesn't mean we won't hit a bump or two. The bumps, the temporary dances with our own shadow, refines and purifies the degree of aliveness we are coming into.

I try to stay away from placing labels of 'good', 'bad', 'right' or 'wrong'. I have found that even the 'bumpiest' pages or chapters in my life's ongoing book, have been sacred times. It is how I hold them, think and feel about them. Becoming conscious of life's experiences and not automatically jumping to conclusions based on fear, cultural programming, or labeling what should or should not be happening, I have the freedom to see the lessons in what is actually presenting itself. Many of my greatest moments of finding great freedom within has been from hanging out with what 'heavier' energies, like a depression, sadness, or a judgment, are trying to teach me. This is very different than wallowing in 'darkness' out of a habitual way of living with this energetic quality. We can learn to bring consciousness, awareness, presence to any and all qualities, explore where and why they are visiting us, and in doing so we help to set them free.

Once we allow a healing on any level, by bringing conscious awareness to what has felt more 'dense', we then cultivate the 'lighter' energy that rises to meet us! That lightness is always within us, sometimes we just need to take the time, space and quiet to do a little housecleaning.

The key word is consciousness. Setting our course in this next year to become more aware of what our energy 'pulls' are revealing to us. What is holding us back, what is calling us forth, and how to balance between the light and shadow of our own being. How our reality is created by what consciousness we surround ourselves with and what we feed ourselves in all the energetic forms. This awareness is the first step to move out of habits that keep us from feeling our fullness, our brilliance, our selves as love! When we have the courage, commitment to grow into this fullness, as Mary Anne Williamson says, 'we give others the permission to shine'. This helps us, this helps the world!

2011 will be an amazing year to inquire within, explore any of those areas where we feel we are not living our lives to the fullest and revamp our energetic relationship to Life! Become awake, conscious to our hearts dreams, and clear whatever blocks it's song. If we choose to believe that all the energies in the Universe are simply waiting to meet and greet our Inner Light, we can choose to feel we are not alone in this new world forming to uplift each of us, individually and collectively. However we have to align our energies and clear, heal CONSCIOUSLY, whatever old energies of beliefs, thoughts, subconscious attitudes which stand in the way of our own inner freedom, peace and joy!

So, here's to a Happy, Transforming, 2011 New Year!
Align your intentions and energies with what your heart sings for!
As we each shine our individual Lights, our collective Light grows!!

SPECIAL OFFER FOR THE HOLIDAYS

To remain in alignment with the holiday spaciousness, Inner Journeys is offering a special introductory rate for new clients. Please choose from which modality you would like to experience in order to bring a sense of centeredness and Peace for the month of December.

USUI REIKI, a form of energy healing, is provided both in my studio and also through distant treatments. It brings your whole being into harmony, calm and balance!

AMRIT METHOD YOGA NIDRA, is a guided meditation, dropping you into the deepest states of silence within. It is a powerful method to sooth the nervous system and to bring your deepest intentions for this season into manifestation. Yoga Nidra serves as a direct connection to Spirit!

UNVEILING SOUL YOGA, is a deeply meditative form of hatha yoga. It brings all of your awareness within, anchoring you to your true alignment, releases tensions and anxiety. Most important, it slows you down, bringing a heightened sense of clarity, Peace and Joy!

All of these modalities bring Spaciousness! They allow you to bring the best of who you are to all you meet! You become the Spacious truth of your Being!

This month, I will be sharing these vehicles of Peace with you a special rate of
$35.00. It is an honor to offer tools that help facilitate the Light of the season that it may illumine all! Please contact me with questions or to schedule. I will begin seeing new clients for this introduction special, December 6th!

I look forward to working with you and so thankful for all that I have been blessed to work with! Peace & Joy to Each!

holiday spaciousness

'Tis the season to be Jolly! The holidays are upon us and often this brings a mix of anticipation, joy, anxiety, sharing and stress. Family and friend gatherings are on the way. So how can we move through this season remaining connected to the intention and Spirit of this time with our loved ones? I imagine we all want to feel that sense of connectedness with those we love, especially during this time. There are many people that we may only see on this occasion, and rarely do we set out with the intent on feeling contracted or on edge. Yet this often happens if we do not remain centered and clear as to what this holiday means for us. That being said, I don't think we all have the same understanding or needs from the holidays. Knowing if we have expectations and what they are, is a wonderful starting point. As long as we are present with this inner meaning within ourselves, we can bring a sense of sacredness to this occasion.

It is important to recognize before the hustle and bustle begins, what it means to us. Is it a time to celebrate our connections with our friends and family? Is it a religious experience for us in reverence of the birth of Christ or do we recognize it from the spiritual connection to the Earths circling back into Light with the Solstice? Are we looking forward to the giving of gifts? Sharing meals? Reconnecting with others? Do we give permission to opt out of activities and go within, if that is the inner call?

What ever meaning we identify with in our hearts, we can then go about creating the holiday form this inner sanctuary. If we have clarity within, then we can begin to determine what activities are in alignment with our truth. This is the foundation from which we then connect and act outside of ourselves through. When we can honor our own truth, we are more able to enter into even challenging situations with more awareness, spaciousness, and ability to interact from this conscious intention.

Whether we are looking to create Joy, Peace, Enthusiasm, Sacredness, Celebration, or Gratitude, we must first have a clear intention of that experience. This doesn't mean that we seek to control the experience, but enter into each situation looking through those eyes.

For instance, a few years ago my intention for the holiday was to bring everyone together and create a wonderful meal and simply to share my love for my family. Now, anyone who knows me, knows I do not cook, so I admit, I had the help of my partner in some of the preparation. I had been feeling so much love for everyone, that even during a couple hurried and harried moments, in the small space of our home and lack of any formal eating space; AND two family's(mine and my partner's)joining together for the first meeting, I found I was able to maintain this space of love within. Now, though I did whatever I could to make everyone as happy and comfortable as possible, I can not guarantee everyone had as good of time, filled with a sense of connectedness as I did. I did my best to be a considerate hostess and created a peaceful and warm environment, yet I also had to let go of my expectations as to how this was experienced by my guests. As far as I could tell, everyone had a wonderful time and at the end of the day, I felt such a deep satiated fullness, and not from the food! I felt fed by the sharing I wished to offer and in my reality, love was all I felt.

So once we know what we are intending to create, contribute, or experience, it is always good to do what is needed to keep ourselves in a nourished space. Of primary importance, don't let go of your spiritual practice as the pace of the holidays escalate! This is what allows you to come to the table, whatever form it takes, clear and open, ready to be present and loving. If you don't have a practice or something that grounds you, do what you can to cultivate an inner clarity. For example, hot baths, music that brings you into your fullness, exercise that makes you feel energized, maybe a massage or energy work. In other words, keep your self in alignment with YOU, first! Then cultivate a calm nervous system. When the nervous system is calm, your moods, reactions and 'internal' stories can be managed. This means it is easier to remain open-hearted and aligned with your intention! You don't have to take my word for this. Simply notice that as you become tense, what happens to your breath and your emotions. Usually agitation sets in, meaning your being is becoming contracted. In contraction, not as much energy can flow through you and the heart becomes more shut off from others and life. Notice too, how you feel when you are relaxed, maybe after meditating or yoga. The breath flows freely, you feel softer, more open, more in the flow of whatever is present. This is spaciousness and the place where Love streams freely from!

Gifts to others can come in many ways, and some of the most powerful ones are acceptance, acknowledging who others are, letting go of expectations or control, really listening to others, not needing things to be other than they are. When we are settled in our own inner peace, inner joy, inner gratitude, whatever happens around us can have much less impact on us, and we become a source of those qualities of Being to those we love.

So, I send out warm and peaceful wishes to all! May your holidays be perfect, in whatever way that is meant for you. May we all have the inner peace to bring that Peace and Light to all in our midst! Spaciousness is Love. Love is what we are all seeking ~ and that Love is what we are!

Peacefully Merry~

maybe ~ maybe not

This is a sweet story that illustrates attachments, reactions to circumstances and just allowing to be, without creating stories around how things should be different. It also is a reminder that we don't always know what is 'good' or 'bad', when situations arise in our lives. Often this way of remaining neutral is easier said than done, which is why we have these wonderful stories, to help us remember!

Once in a far away place, there was on old farmer. He had a small farm, one horse and a son. One day the farmer awoke in the morning to find his only horse had run away. When the neighbor caught wind of the news, he came over to see the farmer with sincere apologies about the bad luck that had befallen his friend.

"Oh my friend, I am so sorry to hear the news! Your only work horse has escaped. What will you do about your fields? This is such terrible luck!"

The farmer, very patiently listened to his neighbor and replied, "Maybe. Maybe not."

The next day, the farmer awoke to another event. His horse had returned with a mate. Now he had two horses. When his friendly neighbor heard, he rushed right over with congratulations.

"Oh my dear friend! Good luck has shown upon you! You now have two horses! This is wonderful!"

The farmer simply replied, "Maybe. Maybe not."

Since the new addition, this new horse was wild, it needed to be tamed. The farmers son set out the next day to begin to break this new horse. It didn't take long in this process before the son was thrown from the horse, badly breaking his leg.

The neighbor rushed over with his condolences about the bad luck of the injury to the farmers son.

"Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your sons misfortune trying to tame this wild beast! And now your son will be indisposed for quite some time. Who will help you on your farm? This is a horrible happening!"

The farmer, once again upon hearing the distress of his neighbor, calmly replied,
"May be. Maybe not."

The next day, while the farmers son was just beginning his recovery process, the army arrived at the farm to recruit young men, of eligible age for service in the army.

The neighbor, had of course spied the soldiers along the road and rushed over as they departed. He found out that the son would not be joining the service, due to his leg being on the mend.

"Oh friends and neighbors! This is great news. Your son will not be put in danger, risking his life in battle! What good luck has come upon your household!"

The farmer standing ever in state of equilibrium replied once again, "Maybe. Maybe not."

Love & Peace~

lessons from a jumping mouse

There is a little story about a jumping mouse, that some of you may or may not have heard. It goes something like this ... There once was this unusual little mouse that had the ability to jump high into the air, above the fields and trees. The rest of his community and companions, however, did not believe they had this ability and thought their friend was a little freaky. They felt that by his jumping he was putting himself at risk to the larger predators including the birds that circled, hunting for prey. You see, the rest of the community spent the majority of their time traveling from place to place in their underground tunnels. This they believed kept them safe and out of harms way.

Their risk taker buddy, on the other hand, would rise up above the earth, would see the expanse of the blue sky and the earth below, taking in all the beauty there was to behold. He didn't seem to have much fear of the predators and was always encouraging the others to test out their jumping skills, so that they too, may share in the vision of our jumper! The rest of the mice refused. When our little jumper would come back from his adventures and share of the sights he had seen, the others thought he was simply crazy! They didn't really believe in the existence of all the clouds, the wide array of colors from the flowers and trees. They only knew the dark, constriction of their tunnels and the long stems of grass that helped to keep them secluded from other creatures. Their view was quite limited. They couldn't even imagine the scenes, since they didn't have anything to compare it to.

The jumping mouse, once he began to see and learn from this spacious vision, could no longer be hemmed into the dark tunnels of fear, disbelief, and survival for his life mentality. Though he often felt alone and separate, he could not find it in himself to return to the old ways of his community. His journey had begun, and he followed the horizon, jumping his way into a new paradigm!

I love this story. It often becomes a guide for my perception, calling me to check into where my vision is. Am I running around in the dark tunnels of my mind's stories, fears, insecurities? Or am I jumping up to get the big expansive view, free from identification with my little self.

Along this journey, the majority of us most likely fluctuate between these two perspectives. But there are many in our world, who may not even be aware that they live whole lives in these tunnels of darkness and tunnel vision. I have found there are levels of programming that we are all indoctrinated in. These may be societal, religious, familial, or nationalistic. All of these, if they are from indoctrination, rather than ones own personal inquiry and experience, stem from the lower centers of our consciousness. All of these keep us in a tunnel, unaware of the vastness of choices, expressions and visions which expand our mind and hearts.

What exactly are these tunnels constructed of? In general, it seems much of this 'material' can be classified as our attachments and internal stories. Attachments to our likes and dislikes; to our opinions; to our judgments; to our fears and projections of others; our addictions and secrets; to our dogma; to our buying into mass fears of the 'other' and the beliefs the 'other' holds. We also build these tunnels or box ourselves in through false stories we believe about ourselves. These are often stories about our lack of's: worth, loveability, capability, importance . . . and not to forget, our perception overall that we, as human beings, are just our ego-identified selves. We believe we are only these bodies, the stresses, the emotions and all of our crazy thoughts, the personality.

If we stop to think about each of these categories, I have no doubt each of us has felt stuck and trapped in this kind of awareness, at some time or another. Doesn't it feel like we are boxed in? or only seeing tunnel vision and scurrying around trying to get free from the cause of these experiences or ourselves? Don't we feel as sense of constriction and tightness in our bodies? Isn't there some sort of survival mechanism that is kicked up within us? I don't know about you, but I get an overwhelmed sense of being limited in my options, powerlessness and all I can see and feel is the pain of my problem. My heart is not open and I feel like I am walking around in some sort of blindness, even though my eyes are wide open.

Our task is, or I will go even further to say our responsibility to our Self is to jump! As ever evolving spiritual beings, it is our responsibility to rise above the limited, programmed, boxed in, tunnel visioned perceptions. We must call on that jumping mouse, to be brave and raise our consciousness and awareness to a higher level.

One of the first steps in doing this, is to realize when we are living in a box, when we are traversing the same tunnels of darkness. We have recognize our actions which to lead to repeating patterns that continue to create constriction in our being and of our vision. Recognize when we are not merely having a preference, which soon passes, but when we are stuck in a preference, expecting and demanding that preference be met. Or, when we are in a judgmental state, creating discord in ourselves or maybe others, based on some idea we refuse to let go of and insisting others hold the same belief. Unless we realize our boxes, we can't break the walls of it down.

Once we begin to 'see' clearly and have examined our self, we are learning to jump to a higher view point. When we begin to 'let go' of what we are clinging to, in whatever form that takes for each of us, we are jumping even higher! And once we truly let go, we have reached the vantage point of our jumping friend! Our internal sky becomes blue, colors are brighter, we breathe easier, and our bodies and minds begin to expand! This is the taste of freedom. Freedom from the entanglements of the mind and it's limited ideas!

Like the jumping mouse, we see there isn't as much to be fearful of as we may have thought. The more time we spend catching our moments of tunnel vision, the easier it becomes to rise out of it.

These repeated experiences of seeing clearly and letting go, allows us then to identify more with our expansive, spacious nature of witness consciousness. We become more aware of the reality that we ARE NOT any of these stories, dogmas, fears, emotions or our body!

Although it is often difficult and sometimes carries it's own sorrow, we can not refuse to learn to jump based on our companions and community. These points of growth, in connection to those close to us, are slippery places where we need to stay even more diligent in our awareness to not get stuck in the tunnel. In the larger part of this picture still, it is our birthright and ultimate purpose of these Souls, in these bodies, to grow, evolve and return to Truth. We will all find it when we reach it, this Truth. Many paths and many languages, all bring us to this Truth. This realization can not be had when we are scurrying around unconsciously in our tunnels or sitting safely in our boxes. As we each evolve, the timings may be different from those close to us, yet, we must move forth as our higher Self calls. It is another lesson in learning, we are not these personalities we identify with, nor our feelings. So while we need to address these along the way, we need to do so with a sense of higher awareness and consciousness.

So, here's to our little mouse teacher! May we all be jumping, jumping, jumping along our evolutionary spiritual journey!

XO~

the joy of discipline

The topic of spiritual practice has been alive and well in conversation and in personal reflections. The word discipline, often associated with spiritual practice, can have a tricky affect on some of us. Often times there is reactivity to it, fear of judgment, feeling controlled, not being at choice, or fear of failure. Especially for those just stepping onto a spiritual path(at least consciously!) there are ideas and questions about how a spiritual practice should look, what it really means, and for some a questioning of it's importance. And for many, understandably, there just doesn't seem to be enough time!

I remember about 15 years ago, when I began trying to meditate, I had no idea what to do, how to do it, or why I was doing it. I simply started feeling and inner urge to check it out. I would sit in this lovely room my partner and I had created in the upstairs of our home. It was specifically held as sacred space, yet neither of us entered that room much. We were both equally at a very beginning stage of exploring our selves in this way. Usually I'd last about 15 minutes, feeling fidgety, and trying to make my mind stop thinking. Every now and then, I'd have this sense of some reprieve, and find myself a little more relaxed than when I had started. I made it into our sacred space maybe a handful of times over a 3 year period. Never consistently and most likely, never two days in a row.

It seems these dilemmas are common for many. I wasn't alone. I have also found that entering into a disciplined practice, even if that entrance is simply through entertaining it's idea, has a myriad of intentions behind it, as diverse as the individuals.

There are those who just want to find some peace and quiet, yet once they become still and silent, inside it is anything but peaceful or quiet. Some are genuinely interested in deepening themselves spiritually, which means something very personal to each individual. Others intend for a prayerful, contemplative time, but are not aware how to transition from the prayer to simply being receptive.

These potential roadblocks then create more tension, to the actual setting of a routine, to enter into this experience, whatever the personal experience may be, on a regular basis. And mind you, this doesn't necessarily need to be meditation. There can even be a struggle creating that same routine with a home yoga practice,a chi gong or tai chi practice. Hence, it is often easier to find a class that is enjoyed, which helps motivate. However, I am talking about those practices that we are called to, which invite us into a deeper, more silent, energy withdrawn inwardly place. I am specifying meditation though, primarily, because it does seem to be the most difficult and yet its benefits are unending!

I have found disciple to be magic when it comes to this arena. This is not to say I have great discipline, that it comes at all naturally, or that it stays consistent.
I struggled on my own for a couple of years, with a deep desire for this disciplined practice to develop. I had this idea that it should just come effortlessly. I felt that I shouldn't be so easily swayed by the day to day distractions or wants that would come my way. I was still at the command of all my impulses, my fun and instant fixes. It wasn't always conscious, but it was much easier to go do whatever, or to "be in the moment" and enjoy what that moment had to bring, than to try to get quiet!

Finally, there came the refuge for me, which was an introduction to the idea of meditation techniques. I was fortunate to be aligned with a teacher who helped me to understand more clearly what I was attempting to do. The alignment with that technique allowed me to drop into a space that wasn't affected by all the ramblings of this mind. I was taught to connect to the breath and always return my awareness to the breath, when I noticed that my focus had disappeared and my attention was all mixed in with the ramblings!

Most of us who have been traveling this path for a while, realize there are different techniques which help us to 'slip' into those empty spaces within. Yet, there are those who struggle and give up, even though there is a great desire to find this inner stillness.

After awhile, I merged my yoga practice into my meditation practice, followed by a sitting meditation. This practice was learned from Yogi Desai. I experienced how to use postures to enter a meditative state, which enabled a new ease in a sitting meditation. I felt even more blessed, and as I embarked on this new practice, I set up my regimen for myself. I established the ideal scenario for my new beginning. Up at 5:00 a.m. practice for an hour and a half, then in the evening for another hour and a half, starting at 7:00 p.m. Of course there were other ideals I attempted to uphold as well, but were met with the lack of a strengthened foundation which grows with time. And thank goodness PRACTICE!

Needless to say, it did not hold and I felt guilt. At times I let go of my practice all together. Discipline was so challenging, even though there was a craving for it. But, I want to watch a movie at night? But, I want to go out to coffee first thing in the morning? But I am too tired? But I have to work so early or I get home too late!

These are all events of living a life in this world. And while there are many schools of thought on how to achieve discipline, I have found myself organically creating a routine that feels right to me, with the information of what I have learned about myself along the way. After moving through the phase of coming down on myself when I would slip out of the discipline, I seemed to be able to create more of a floating disciplined routine. I became attuned to my personal rhythm.

I noticed that there were certain times of the day I felt more called or drawn to practice. I made that part of my routine. Knowing that time was optimal, even if I didn't feel particularly motivated on an 'off' day, I engaged the will and stuck with it. Usually it is just making that decision. But if I didn't leave a lot of wiggle room, the decision is already made. Habit forms the bridge getting me onto the mat or cushion! As this strengthened, I found other times begin to show themselves, so I followed. I allow a different flow for the couple of days I work outside the house, than the days I work from the house. I have three aspects of the practice I work with. Most of my days, I have the time I can enjoy all of them together and other times, I feel out what I am most needing. Although I have become fairly structured, I feel a great freedom in the form of the discipline. It is true to my needs and my life, in whatever shifts or flux it goes through.

What was difficult in the early years, has grown into it's own Joy. The benefits of having established my practice as a priority in my life are many. The most important is the emergence the growing conscious connection to the Self, God, Presence within! Another benefit is the how the habit, the discipline, calls me back for more and more. It has become virtually effortless and when I have to miss, I can't wait to drop in once again! The form of the discipline has given me the greatest freedom. I had to just keep sticking with it, returning, being honest with my personal flow. This also means being honest not to let myself rationalize a way out, if on occasion I 'just don't feel like it'. There is a fine balance sometimes. The balance of ones organic flow; honoring the highest desire to connect and commune; awareness of building and inner strength and fire through discipline; and at times allowing oneself to simply be.

I am so grateful that the past conflict over time and energy to make it to my practice just once a day, has blossomed over the last few years, into a deep desire to find that quietude three times a day, as time allows. I realize I am also blessed to have the space in my life in which to do so.

The evolution becomes to take this practice off the mat, out into the world, holding ones consciousness, spaciousness, clarity, equanimity, and peacefulness present through out our relationships and daily lives. I find I can only hone that practice because of the discipline I have honed, returning over and over to the Source within!

In Deep Peace~

the power of intention

As a new rhythm has settled in recently, it has brought with it new freedom and clarity. Although much has remained the same externally, the internal shifts have simply affirmed how much our reality is created from our own inner perceptions, beliefs and stories.

When I sent out invites for the Amrit Method Yoga Nidra dates for September, I was aware of the power of one of the most recent seeds of intention I'd been working with. Experiencing some resistance and irritability to specific aspects of life, I created the intention:

"I am content and appreciative for all aspects of my life. Every moment is an opportunity to enter into LOVE"

With the planting of this seed, my perception of those small agitations began to transform effortlessly. When I caught myself feeling the familiar reaction ready to surface, I brought forth the intention or it brought itself forth, and I was able to get very clear and present in each moment. A new awareness expanded with each moment of Presence. Freedom from the habitual charge has been the reward!

I bring this up to illustrate, not only the power of this practice, but also the quickening in which resolve can take place, on all levels. Creating these intentions does not entail glossing over very real issues that exist within. It does require some effort in self-study, in order to understand why we are reactionary to certain situations. It also requires the willingness to let go of old patterns, which may sometimes feel uncomfortable. But the pearl to be had, is that once we gain new clarity, the old energetic patterns can be cleared quickly when we follow it up with a personal intention.

It has been touched on in the past, both on this blog and in classes, what makes this process so expedient, is that while in the state of 'yogic sleep' or yoga nidra, there is no resistance to what it is you truly desire. There is no need to walk through your life trying to convince yourself of your positive thought, because you are actually healing the origins of defeating ideas and behaviors at the root!

The body and mind become so relaxed and quiet, that it opens and releases effortlessly. The emotions are subdued and calmed which allows the old reactive habits to be interrupted. We become as a graceful hose or flute, simply allowing what isn't serving us, to be ushered out and dissipated! We are completely in alignment with all aspects of our being. One voice is not saying "NO", while another is saying "Well . . . maybe?", and yet another, "Oh~ come on already!" This inner state of conflict, which is alive and well in your waking state, is unified in yoga nidra. Your whole being is in alignment with your personal intention, in it's purist, examined form.

This is a time tested, ancient spiritual practice that holds true to the yogic principles and it's science of energy. The yogi's knew this state. They probably didn't say "Oh~ when I go to the alpha-theta brainwave states, miracles happen!"
Instead they experienced the flow of prana, or life force energy grow in this state.
I can imagine that as they grew in the Witness Consciousness awareness, the potential for their own Self-Realization grew. And we can assume they engaged the yogic principle of Swadhyaya, meaning Self Study, in all that they did, in order to unveil and uncoil the illusions and false beliefs which held even them captive, at some point or another.

It has been experienced over and over again by myself and other students, that it is the change that occurs within that creates the difference in the quality of life we live. This doesn't mean that some external situations don't need to change. But the beauty of this practice, is that it aids in determining the changes required externally from a place of clarity, rather than fear or reactivity!

It is so cool to be able to share this practice with others and watch lives shift, both in class settings and private sessions! I offer much gratitude to Yogi Desai, for bringing this approach to us. It is so applicable and yet it retains the true spiritual depth of understanding, that brings us ever closer in our connection with our True Self, with each consecutive practice! Keep on practicing~

In Deep Peace~

a new day dawns!

A new day dawns! Or we could say a new phase emerges. As I am back from my trip to see my teacher, Gurudev, Yogi Amrit Desai, I return with a renewed spirit! The previous months have been trying, yet, I applied what I have been taught and what experience has proven, and the rewards are present. Spending time with ones teacher always brings blessings, but the way we work with what Life offers, also brings opportunities for grace and blessings.

Just as I remained present with the healing processes, I brought the same presence to my walk this morning. Beauty was everywhere! The colors, the sky, the greener Catalina's, the songs of the birds. I had the pleasure of meeting two, sweet neighborhood pups ~ although one was certainly not quite as much a pup as the other!
I felt the wider capacity to embrace all of what was, with a more expansive heart and solid place of center!

And what does this mean to you and why do I choose to share these personal inner journeys? Well, I write first for myself. It is a continuation of my own self-awareness process and cultivation of deeper clarity. Second it is a way of sharing what I have been given. And third, as this work is my path of right livelihood, it is important to me that those who come to me as clients or students, realize that I teach and share what I have been shown on many levels of experience.

I can only share with others what I know. If you follow any of these entries, it may be clear that I don't share intellectual book learning information. This doesn't mean that I don't study ~ I do. In fact, it is one of my very favorite past times! However, both the intellectual and experiential realms co-exist. I can not help another on deep levels of transformation, unless I too, have traveled a similar road. There are too many subtleties that can be overlooked, if one only reads and dismisses the deep wisdom from within. The path I walk is what has been called 'depth practice'. Some of you, who know this way will understand what is meant. Others, there are little words to explain it until you are walking it. That being said, we can say it is a path of continuous transformation. Many cycles of being the catipillar and the butterfly in our human/spiritual evolution! We can not have the transformation with out some degree of cocoon!

Everything that I offer through Inner Journeys, comes from my teachers, my studies and my personal experience. I feel it is helpful and inspirational when I am aware of the experiences of others. It gives me a sense of trust, hope and encouragement to surrender to the spiritual unfolding of my own being. When I am struggling in a particular place and see that another has too, and has come through it, I know I can do the same. When I witness the transformation of another, I have faith in my own!

This new day dawning, for myself, is one more reminder that when we are moving through the underworld or being cocooned, for a period of time, even when it seems to be a LONG period of time, we do resurface! And that re-emergence is rich and vital in it's new perceptions, wisdom and Joy-filled alignment. All too often, without knowing that there will be a new day, many people don't give themselves to the purification, the death of what is necessary, in order to shine a brighter light. Some remain in the shade of the old, satisfied with what is familiar, even if uncomfortable. The unknown of the shedding of the old skin can be frightening, can feel like depression, and can reveal hidden grief and pain. But on a spiritual path, that is enlivened by the Souls guidance to evolve, we have to be willing to traverse these unknowns! Over time, experience bears out the Truth from the untruth of our perceptions. Experience cultivates trust in the processes.

This is why I write what I write. To encourage us all to keep on truckin' through Life's lessons and promptings. To expose the intimate, innate wisdom and expressions of the Divine's teaching, healing and transformational powers. I also send out assurance that we never have to travel completely alone. There are always those who have traveled ahead of us, from whatever point we are at, and I am oh! so grateful for all who have shown me the way!

Here's to embracing our journey as it shows up and to the Grace of the Divine!

In Light & Peace~

sacred days of fire

These days introduce a fire both in our Tucson summer and the purification of the internal realm. While this inner fire has seemed to be burning for months now, the fire has elevated my awareness into the presence of a Sacred Joy, regardless of the circumstances.

There is an enlivened teaching running through my being. It seems the dualities should not be living simultaneously, but reality is proving much different. A few months ago, I had some abnormal cells show up on an ovary. I wasn't surprised as I knew there was deep work needed in this energy center. Over the months, what has been revealed in this Sacred healing process has been profound! This work is innate to me, so I have intuitively listened to the inner guidance to inform me. As the months have passed, I have been shown and released much of what has been harbored away. I have ridden the flow of emotions and the karmic roots into past life glimpses, with non-attachment. However, wonder and amazement never cease as the Sacred is revealed in brighter and brighter splendor, as each dark cavern has been traversed!

This intensity has brought me into relationship with so many of my habitual reactions in my daily life. It has been as though sharpening the blade of my awareness, as each agitation or preference rises. The first experience slips by, in normal mode, to quickly be identified and examined. The second and maybe third visit, brings a blinding clarity as the behavior or reaction is sliced away. Consciousness is brought to meet the habitual interaction and the reaction is neutralized. The focus is honed and the fire of awareness is hot! It's as if these tendencies explode within, in one last round of sparks.

This practice brought into my days, my work situation, my relationships and this journey of healing the last several of months, has left me in a depth of an inner stillness, a deep quietude. I enter into contact with the Sacred, as each 'mundane' aspect is lifted, by bringing this honed consciousness to it. It is a Sacred moment, when the darkness meets the light. These qualities commune, the shadow dissipates, its work as a sacred teacher is complete. Freedom and Joy remains. This is not a loud, expressive, woo-hoo! joy. It is a Joy, that simply expands in this being and allows me to cultivate more space and Love for others.

And as more is burned away, even in the moments when the healing brings about elements of density, I am clear of the Joy that is always present. I began to be shown when I was identifying with the ribbons of sadness, shame, pain or fear. A voice whispered inwardly, "I am Joy and at Peace." I was mistaking the ribbons for the truth. Now, I allow the ribbons to fly away, and remember, "I am Joy and at Peace."

Gratitude always abounds in this journey for each valley and peak, for I know I am led, held, protected and purified when I go to these depths, which allows me to rise to the next peak. I have been traveling this path for awhile, and know 'I' am not doing this 'work'. I simply surrender to what is presented. I am brought deeper into my communions through the spiritual practices I have been led to. I meet Her in the quietude and She travels with me in the world, leading me into what is needed and when.

I don't turn away from the Sacred fire. Which is not to say it is never tempting or at it's worst,I may avoid it temporarily. Yet I am always brought back to wake up. It merges the life as a whole into the fabric of the Divine. The fire will help set me free, will bring me into greater Joy, Peace and ever deepening communion with the One. I am only just a babe in these woods. I follow the pathless path, yet I trust it is Divinely outstretched.

Although hardship is a part of this journey, it is also a part of life. It is a way in which we are taught, it is our duty to learn. But, more so, this is a path of intense Love, Grace and Peace.

In Joy and Peace~

transformation in process ~always!

"When everything else disappears,
all that is left this time of year,
minutes seem to slip away, taking with it yesterday.
And when transformation spreads it's wings,
with it inspiration brings,
the spark of life echoes true, for I am truly born anew" Sasha Butterfly Rose, from her album 'Creation Song'

The transformation process may be as a whisper or a rumble. It may also include both and a wide spectrum in between. Today finds it whispering, on the tail end of one cycle. Without a doubt a new wave is not far away! There is never really an end or beginning. It seems that the moment I decided to say "YES!", years ago to this awakening Self, it has been a continuous, non-stop ride! I gave my permission, attuned to the Soul's song, and surrendered to the waves of conscious learning that our teacher, Life, introduces!

I am surfacing from a time of cleansing on very subtle and deep levels, in tandem with a root into more solid grounding, and celebrating a new ray of my Light! All energies have been focused, awareness has been on high alert, and old chapters have been closed. I have felt discombobulated within, which usually goes with the territory. Vulnerabilities have been running high, simultaneously, with a new strength. It is fascinating to realize how many contrary aspects we have in our being, even as they all conspire to bring us to wholeness! I never cease to be amazed at the hand of the Divine, always supporting us along our way, whether we see it or not!

So today, I find myself empty. I found I was moved to clean house, one thing just led to the next. No thought. No plan. Just an inner listening and following, bringing the sacred to the mundane. Before I knew the house was clean, the laundry almost done, noticing it is time to make one more stretch of myself today, and then who knows. I am witnessing once again, how much can 'get done', be 'productive', simply by being in the flow. No mind. No preferences. No inner committee with opinions. Just flowing, allowing my insides to move into their new places, just as it is mirrored in the immediate surroundings. A new home on both planes. This same dynamic has served me many times, alerting me to the 'setting' of this inner shift, at least temporarily.

In this emptiness, letting go comes easily. I also feel more connected to all the blessings of this life and great love for all on this journey with me! It is always so inspiring as we all participate and witness this process, over and over. I have so much gratitude too, for those closest to me, like my lovely husband. We are so blessed to ride these waves hand in hand, holding space when needed and returning the honor for each other! Sometimes it's messy, other times graceful, but always respected.

The 'Creation Song', with it's excerpt above is a beautiful, magical song by this artist. It speaks to the capacity in us all, the innate gift and purpose, for all to transform through out our lives. Just as nature is continuously born anew, so are we. We go through our own deaths of old ways, old selves, to always be rebirthed with a new pureness and truth! We are apart of these cycles of the nature, when we surrender those things that keep us in stagnation, asleep, in fear, and constricted.
This is how we open to Spirit, our Light, Soul and one another with love, peace, and compassion!

Therefore I trust this finds all who read this, in the midst of your own re-birthing process. And if you think you are not, look and listen very closely . . .!!

big love & deep peace~

the dance of ecstasies of joy & deepening of peace

The call of the Feminine, in Her Moon aspect, has been calling more frequently. Or perhaps it is that I am more willing to surrender to Her, at last. It has been apparent in conversations lately, that more people are speaking of the need to come within, to touch base into the inner quietude.

There is an understanding that we are a culture of going, doing and achieving. This has been a topic for me recently, just as it was brought to my attention years ago, that this was my mode of operation. That is until I found yoga, or rather it found me! It has taken me years though, even after opening to yoga, to take it from an intellectual understanding. An end to my resistance and the ability to drop down into a deeper knowing in heart and Soul, has been a huge part of my learning. I have never had a doubt that the consciousness and calling of the eternal Mother was trying to get my attention, but it took some untangling of the elements, which kept me in resistance.

I love being in the ecstatic states of creating, the awe of life, the inspirations always waiting around the corner! It seems we all love being in the full Light of the 'Solar Culture', as Christiana Northrup M.D. puts it. She was giving a lecture on PBS recently, for her new revised edition of 'Woman's Bodies,Woman's Wisdom'. I could feel the enthused state rising in me as she spoke about much that I hold dear. I experienced the energy of that enthusiasm growing, inspirations flowing, and the mind running. Unfortunately, it was also time for bed, if I was to be functional the following day! My attempt at meditation after that was a bit, well, frustrating. However, it brought some clarity into view.

She went on to bring attention to the need for the Moon aspect in us all, which aligned with some of what Thomas Moore writes in his book 'Care of the Soul'. This deep Soul work that is found in those quieter, internal times, out of the Sun and in the shadows of the Moon's light. The theme of what draws me most, unraveled itself into a Presence that has always been present. The only thing keeping me in and out of blindness, has been my ability to perceive beyond my 'preferences' for the Sun energy.

I don't believe I am alone in avoiding the deep shadows of Her light. When we look around our society, it is obvious what we gravitate towards. As mentioned prior, the external world, the Sun, activities, socializing and actualizing. This is part of what we are indeed here for, it is part of our nature, just as the Sun,it's fire and Father Sky. However, there is another half to this story. The other half of our nature is the Moon, the dark soil and deep oceans of MaMa Earth.

They each have their powers to bring life, healing and inspiration. When we live in both aspects equally, we walk this plane in balance and harmony. When we live in one or the other excessively, aspects of our being suffer. This dynamic wholeness has been given to us through out all of nature. Day and Night; Life and Death and it's seasons in between; Will and Surrender; Tension and Relaxation; Giving and Receptivity; Siva and Shakti; Yang and Yin. Yet we also have free will, and often times we choose one of the other, and the one applauded in our society is action, doing, going and achieving.

There is a depth that is missed, even as we accomplish and create wonders in this world. If we don't take time to balance the Sun and Moon in ourselves, we miss out on a deepening within. When do we reflect? Learn the lessons at Soul level? Connect to the subtle aspects of receptivity? When do we integrate? These are the places we have the opportunity to explore in LOTUS EMERGENCE ~ INSPIRED MOVEMENT OF THE SACRED.

I am sure for some, they can do all the above while in the Sun. Or maybe they need only a ray or two of the Moons beam. I have found for myself however, that the consensus of many great Maters holds the truth that speaks: "No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see." This is a Taoist proverb, that holds to an honoring of the wisdom of the Feminine, of Her inner reflecting.

Maybe the reason more people are feeling this need to go within, is the call from the shift of consciousness upon us. The time of the is Feminine approaching. She is beginning to be heard through Her domain of Intuition. Not to make the Male obsolete, but so we can come into True partnership with one another, with nature, the Cosmos, but firstly, within ourselves.

What we find at Her watery depths, will not be discovered in the light of day. This may bring discomfort for some, but we can't ignore, that whatever is at those depths, is there whether we venture in and become conscious of it or not.

As I surrender more and more, I am finding a beautiful dance between the Ecstasies of Joy and the Deepening of Peace. There was a guilt I used to experience, because I resonate more strongly with the shadows of the Moon Beams. I had a belief that told me it was wrong to want to explore Her water and soils. This belief said I should want to be in the bright lights, running around in the rays of the Sun! This created a shadow of it's own in my psyche. When I finally surrendered, when I gave myself to Her, I found a new balance and a new dance, healing, and inner Truth. The lessons continue to be amazing and enlightening. Yes I share both the light of the Sun and the Moon, but I am always aware, She is the light that shines through my heart and Soul!

In Deep Peace~

lotus emergence ~ inspired movement of the sacred

It has been said by the mystics, that the origins of dance sprung forth as expressions of devotion, from the deep states of spiritual connection. Lotus Emergence provides the sacred container and the process by which to journey to our inner realms, igniting the Sacred within us, to emerge.

Through centering and stilling techniques, you are guided into the abode of inner peace and emptiness. It is from here, our movements, our prayers in motion, spring forth spontaneously! Your being becomes inspired by the Sacred. You are transported into the Bliss and Freedom of Spirit. Transformation takes place from the depths of SELF.

An excerpt of a Rumi poem reads:
" ... Close the ears on your head that listen mostly to lies and cynical jokes. There are other things to hear and see: dance-music and a brilliant city inside the Soul.'

The only requirements for this exploration are, the willingness to be present, a desire for connection with Source, and the courage to surrender to the depths of you!

This will be an intimate group, so it is asked that you register early. Details will be provided at that time. I look forward to journeying with you.

In Peace~

the beauty of 'just being'

"When we speak of God, we are referring to that Supreme Consciousness from which all life arises. We can also talk about the way we experience God, as Divine Love or Divine Presence." Swami Khecaranatha

This Sunday morning was brought with soothing cloud cover, here in the sunny Tucson desert. I could sense my energy slow and restful, calling to retreat inward. Not without a list of things 'to do', I decided to heed the inner call. I lit some incense, put on some of my favorite flute music, and found my niche on the couch, from where I could watch the birds flitting here & there. I sipped my tea and was aware of the thoughts dancing around in my mind. "You should be doing...", "Don't forget...", "Don't you think you ought to...?" Although this practice of 'just being' is something I suggest to people I work with and keeping this balance has been a very important part of my journey, this morning it was clear to see I was a bit rusty!

'Just Being', tends to sound more simple than it is. We constantly have the buzz of the world drawing our attention out to: go do, go see, be more productive. Our nervous systems and minds are used to a certain amount of stimulation, often times depending on how we are with the going, doing and seeing. The cultivation of 'just being' gets lost in the hubub. When we do stop, not to sleep, or even to meditate, but 'just to be', we find the challenge right within us, egging us on to the next thing. Often times it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is something other than sitting around 'doing nothing', for heaven's sake!

Quick to see how out of practice I was, it brought me to a place of re-committing to this much needed balance in my life, body and soul. Familiar with the inner protests to the stillness, I knew it wouldn't take long to settle in. As I sat and allowed the mind to go about it's business, while I simply brought my attention to feel my breathing. I began to notice a gentle sadness and longing surface. I felt a little teary. But, also from experience, I know for myself, it is an inner signal of relief. It feels to me as if, some deep part of myself breathes this deep sigh of relief; that I have finally stopped to allow a deepening, a healing, integration to occur. Before long, the physical body releases a sigh or two and I feel my breath deepening. No longer is the mind acting out. It too has retreated into a quiet corner, maybe feeling ignored or maybe, it really wants some down time too!

As I sat watching the birds, my awareness floats to watch the subtle quivering of the leaves on the tree right outside the window... I am mesmerized by it's gentle shimmy. Listening to the chorus of birds merge with the bamboo flute, my breathing slows and deepens even more. Sipping the tea, I can almost taste each herb I have blended as a treat for my taste buds and nourishment of my body. My awareness is called even deeper within, I feel and hear my heart beat. It seems as if I am hardly even breathing at this point. There is a sense of expansion beyond the physical and I 'just be' with that. Nothing more~Nothing less. Who knows how long I am 'just there', it doesn't matter. From this peace and silence, I hear the message, bubbling up, "Surrender. Receive." It begins to repeat itself, the mantra from the soul to 'me', over and over. I do just as it says and am blessed as it plays on through my heart, mind and body. When I notice it has faded away, I bathe in the blessing and feel the gratitude of return to a practice I have let slide as of late.

The sun is now out and I am off the couch. I am keenly aware of the guidance I was given and will follow. Space was cleared for a couple epiphanies to come forth and I am at ease on all levels. Who knows what the rest of the day will hold, yet I will remain in the spaciousness of 'just being' and allow the continuation of the beauty of surrender.

Peace Within~

private sessions ~ unveiling soul yoga

"In my search to find my heart, soul and spirit, Lotus and Unveiling Soul Yoga, were put in my path. She gave me sight to see my inner Self and to learn to make peace~most of the time~ with the heart churning conflicts that can be faced daily. She is a true soul healer" BD

The offering of Unveiling Soul Yoga came about organically around 2003. It is based on my personal yoga practice and deeply inspired by my time with Yogi Amrit Desai and Ananda yoga. My personal path led me to see the value of practicing in a private setting, one on one. I don't feel that it excludes partaking in yoga classes, but there is an added depth that can be attained when one can listen to the personal needs and calling of the body. This new awareness and consciousness can then be taken into the class arena, to benefit ones daily practice!

This practice can be taken as deep as one is so inclined. With guidance and support, we begin to understand the body, to be a vehicle to go beyond the body. With all attention on you, as the student, we listen to what your body needs at any given time. With postures done slowly, consciously and without force, you can nurture your energy level and listen within, to how you can best be nourished through this asana practice. You are able to hear more of the subtle calls from your heart and soul, communicated through your physical form. Tuning in, in this way, allows this practice to bring you into a peaceful, meditative and centered state.

Often, there are holding patterns in the physical body. We experience them as tight muscles, tension or alignment issues. We have emotions that are also stored in the body. These emotions can manifest as the tight muscles or illness. Most of the time these holdings are unconscious and need the 'light of consciousness' brought to them.
But how does one do that? And what does one do when they meet that block? Let's face it, if we wanted to meet it to begin with, we wouldn't need to push it away! As we all know, if something is going to feel good, we have little trouble experiencing it. However, when we don't want to experience something we deem as unpleasant or uncomfortable, we have habitual places to tuck 'it' away. Maybe it's the low back, the shoulder blade, the hamstrings, the pelvis . . . Any place can be the unconscious hiding place!

When we practice in a container that cultivates this inner listening, consciousness grows and we are able to move beyond our patterns of unconscious holding. We become empowered when we can build greater awareness and learn how to bring healing and freedom from old habits and stories locked within. It is not always easy to allow old wounds move through us, which is why this personal support and container is valued, if needed. The releases, whether they be in the forms of, increased range of motion, clearer seeing or emotional, are often necessary to create more space for Grace, so to speak. It is then, that we become lighter in our Being. We become integrated and aligned. We get clear on our patterns and learn that the release brings freedom and bliss!

"I began working with Lotus during a time of undo stress, hoping only to relieve some tension and gain some support. Through a personalized program of yoga and meditation, I was able to heal old wounds and patterns, as well as, wake up to a new understanding of myself and Spirit. With her intuitive guidance, sensitivity and grounded approach, I discovered so much more." AT

"I wish I could put into words what the practice of Unveiling Soul Yoga and the guidance Lotus has brought has meant to me over the past couple of years. With her help, I have less physical pain and have kicked acid reflux that I suffered from for over 10 years! Everything from dentist visits to public speaking has gotten easier for me. Comfort, ease and calm are what I have continued to experience. Her commitment to helping others to heal is inspirational." AV

Unveiling Soul Yoga extends an invitation to explore your inner landscape, delve into your own unique layers of lessons and discover the beauty within!
Peace~

a few voices of experience from Yoga Nidra

"Every week, Yoga Nidra class gives me priceless gifts: intense relaxation and alignment with my soul. There I breathe. I flow. I listen. Lotus creates a wonderful space for us all to explore what is vital about just 'being'."

"Doors are opening and I am opening."

"Working with the 'primary intention' initially brought a deeper palpable awareness of my connection with Source. After a few days - it just took a gentle reminder from mySelf to tune in and feel alignment. I have been a involved for years with body centered meditation practices - craniosacral work, qi gong, tai chi ... this practice brings my thoughts- my mind into balance with my centered body. This brings awareness to my whole life, actions and non-actions.
The 'secondary intentions' have been equally profound. With Lotus' help, I created an intention based on some patterns and "issues" that are an ongoing concern with me... in a comfortable and soothing way it seems to magically work through my system without stressful mental efforts or inner criticism. I am feeling noticable and fulfilling change happening in a soft and flowing way, not through mental imposition or force. I am deeply grateful for this practice - these new tools for growth, depth and joy!"

Thank you for your sharing~ Peace ~

dancing demons & button pushers

Have you seen those oriental or eastern images of the ornate demons, dancing around looking ferocious and foreboding? Well, that is the image that came to me recently while listening to someone explaining some interactions they had been dealing with.
I began to be entranced by all the ways that LIFE brings about our button pushers. Our focus is usually captivated by the dancing demon, the seduction of Maya, or our best friends criticism. All our attention is pulled out side of us, the drama ensues and we are swept up into the belief that the illusion is real, blaming or defending against the perceived attack.

Don't get me wrong. I am well aware that it is an experience that is being had. In those moments our perception of that engagement, with buttons pushed, and the demon still doing it's best to distract us, feels all too real! I too fall into my reactions. But here are a couple of questions to ask:
Why do I react when the person next to me seems not to notice that dancing demon at all?
Who is the 'I' that is in reaction?
What is the true invitation being asked of me through the button pusher?
Who is the button pusher &/or the dancing demon?
What is the true state of who you are?

The demon might pull my hair and I will become indignant and pained, so he decides to pull the hair again and again! Because I gave a reaction. The demon might pull your hair and you might laugh and walk away. The demon now changes up his jig and runs up to pinch you! Aha! Now, you turn around and face him, just as ferociously. He knows he's got your attention! But if he pinches me, it's just a gnat I am swooshing away. So what's up?

We are only going to react to what we have learned to be affected by. This doesn't mean if we both get into a wreck and break a leg, that we won't both feel the pain. But how we respond to the pain is a different story. It is a different story, because we literally carry these stories within us. The philosophy of karma explains this best. To be brief, we come into each incarnation predisposed to certain tendencies that ego will assume as part of the personality. Those tendencies and pre-programming will be buttons awaiting the button pusher! My buttons are different than your buttons based on our individualized souls past incarnations. Maybe I was a hair puller in some other incarnation. Maybe I reveled in upsetting others in that way. Maybe I was their dancing demon. Hence the sayings, "What comes around, goes around" or "An eye for an eye", which were most likely meant as statements of karma,action and consequence, not a literal act of punishment or revenge.

This leads us directly to the statement Dr. Gabriel Cousens makes at The Tree of Life. "The personality is a case of mistaken identity." We believe we are this body, these thoughts, our stories, the personality ~ the EGO. Ego is not a bad guy in totality. We need it's faculties to navigate this life in these bodies. But it is when we BELIEVE in this ego as who we are, we will fall prey to all the dancing demons! When I react to getting my hair pulled and it brings up my stories of victimization or self-pity, ego tries to defend the 'personality' by getting indignant or it may succumb to tears. This is the personality carrying out it's role on auto-pilot, identified to the ego/personality. This is the mission of us all . . . stop identifying with this level of our reality. Yes, we have the personality, but it is not who we are.

The invitation by each button pusher or dancing demon, is to stop reacting to and believing the lie of the small self. Instead to become acquainted with the True Self. Now, I understand that this line of thought may not make sense to everyone. We all start from wherever we are. But, with some investigation, I have faith that we all will see the perception I am coming from. It is difficult to separate these layers of the Self, to see them each clearly. But it does happen, and it is that experience that brings each of us into the KNOWING, rather than the philosophizing about what I am saying.

LIFE is the button pusher and the demon. LIFE is also the PEACE, UNITY & LOVE. Life is our teacher of lessons. But on the side of the coin where Maya, otherwise termed illusion, has hold over our perception, we need our buttons pushed to help us to get free of them. How do we get free. First, realize it isn't really personal. That each demon is in service to your seeing clearly. Next, stop reacting habitually, and start asking deeper questions about what is REALLY going on. What is the situation teaching you? Why are you reacting the way you are? What are the emotions or truths that are being revealed to you by the demon? Investigate whether or not you may not wanting to face an aspect of yourself. Look in the mirror.

Then, stop. Just stop and draw your attention in and ask your self 'WHO is experiencing this situation?' HMMM. This is the substance of most importance. We are so busy looking outside, watching and reacting in our own special ways to our demons. We believe the experience because it is jumping around in front of us and creating all sorts of uncomfortable emotions inside of us. We believe the experience is the truth, but really it is that which is EXPERIENCING, that is the Truth. Stop looking at all that noise externally for a minute. WHO is looking at it all? WHO is witnessing 'you' stopping to look? Seriously. Sit with this, close the eyes and just breathe and turn your attention inward to seek the WHO? This is as far as I go with words. This is where only you can pick up this trail. And when you KNOW, the words will be few.

The True Self is the purpose of all the spiritual practices we do. The more we practice, the more we experience this Self, the more we identify with IT and the less we are taken in by the ups & downs of the personality. The dancing demons lose their power. And why is this important? Well, once you visit this Self a few times, you'll begin to understand. But in words, we can say that if you desire Peace, Joy, Harmony, Love and Compassion to be your reality, then transformation through this seeking central in 'the way'. It is central in all versions of the Way.

Every time participants go into Yoga Nidra, they strengthen the connection to the WHO? the Self, the Source. Every time students join me for private sessions of Unveiling Soul Yoga, they discover what separates them from the expansion of Self, then they move through the blocks and gain new awareness. Every time I guide someone in the Zero Point process, they quickly dissipate old stories, thought forms and identifications, opening them up to more authentic ways of being. All of these vehicles offer a glimps or connection to that Source within.

We are all seeking Freedom, Love and Joy. We just haven't been taught how to achieve those qualities in a way that will last. In fact, we need to know that these are not emotions, they are qualities of being. In general, we haven't been shown what stands in the way, on all levels, which include ego, or how to heal from our past in this life or previous lives.

I hope all who have read this are encouraged to begin or continue this path of seeking. Each will find their own place of resonance, the methods by which to start the unveiling process. Each will know, because that voice within will lead the way. So in closing, lets all be as thankful as possible for our button pushers, our dancing demons and each opportunity they give us to wake-up, question and become conscious!

Peace~ Lotus

creating intentions for yoga nidra

Last night we had an extended class in order to learn how to create and personalize intentions for our Yoga Nidra practices. While it seems simple enough to come up with what we are desiring to move toward in our lives, the process last night helped us to get a deeper understanding of the layers found in creating an aligned intention. This alignment is imperative to manifestation.

The first area we discussed was the difference between 'goal' and 'intention'. The qualities are very different. For instance Goal holds the characteristics of a)having an end-point; moving from here to there b)it works only on the material plane and c) creates expectation. It is staged in the plane of duality, which means we will be subject to disappointment, judgment, self-conflict and the stress of success or failure if we fall short or miss the mark completely of our goal. This orientation of goal, keeps us trapped in the ego process of "I/it will be better when . . .I get there, I have, achieve or become this or that." It automatically carries the message that something is lacking. Intention carries the message of fullness.

Intention, on the other hand, can seem a little more illusive: a)it has no end point b)the seed we plant may be 'known', but the final result is 'unknown' c) creates alignment in our feeling, thoughts, speech and action d) it promotes relaxation e) it allows the truth of the moment to show up all along the way.

The example I used for this was from my own experience recently of teaching Yoga Nidra. What I shared was that I hadn't planned on teaching YN classes. I thought I was just going to integrate private sessions into the rest of my work. The intention I had set early on was something like, "I embrace my path of right livelyhood." The 'known' was that I would be open, receptive and moving into the work I love-ie, working with people one on one. However, Spirit had a whole different idea in mind, hence I am teaching classes too. Intentions hold the flexibility to flow with the Universal rhythm rather than stay fixed or rigid, as if to say, it must be this and it must be this way. As the ideas or talk of classes began to surface, I felt the alignment and rightness of that guidance. I planted the seed, but I didn't know, and still don't how it will all play out. I trust.

We also talked about the integrative power to our creating an intention. Examples of this are: a) we will experience less internal conflict b) we will find more calm within c) channels our mind in the direction of our highest self/potential d) nurtures qualities like compassion and kindness e) we withdraw from acting out in self-negating ways. The power of this stems from the way in which the intentions work WITH the practice of Yoga Nidra.

We all have had affirmations that we have memorized, repeated as we are driving,working, going to sleep etc. The question is how well do they work? This isn't to say they don't, but I think the odds are not as celebratory as we'd like. For me, at times it has felt like I am trying to convince myself of something that doesn't quite seem to fit. When we work with the affirmations/intentions in this normal waking state, ego is also present, alive and well. It is most happy to interrupt our fantasy with all the reasons I can't, won't or shouldn't believe in what I am affirming.

But AHA! Yoga Nidra allows our intentions to be planted while ego is 'asleep' and disarmed, because we are in a deep meditative place and ego is NOT present! So, the magic begins, works behind the scenes with our Highest Good, and WALA! New ways of being are manifested!

We don't get a complete free ride though! Sometimes the creation of the aligned intention means that if there are issues in the way of our Highest Self, they need to be addressed. This is an on-going process of self-reflection, self-study and self-inquiry. All the rowers of the boat need to be rowing together and in the same direction, or else the boat is not going to reach it's destination. It'll just spin in circles! An example of this has been my process of teaching in general! I love to learn and share what I have learned, what inspires me and the ways in which I have found freedom. Teaching is what I do whether I mean to or not. It's how I communicate. And yet it hasn't come easy in formal settings. Fortunately, I have been picking away at this for many years, gaining ground little by little finally leaps and bounds! However, I have worked with it with YN as well. An intention such as, "I step into my dharma with enthusiasm, confidence and joy." The story I had listened to has been the voices of doubt and fear. Outwardly, I had expressed disclaimers as to my abilities. Simultaneously I had been in the position of wanting to teach, but terrified someone would show. Self-defeated if no one did and not surprised when this was the outcome. And in the midst of all this density, it was easy to loose track of the light of inspiration that called me to begin with! Now, it certainly doesn't take too much time to see clearly what I had been creating for myself. My story created the circumstances, which in turn affirmed the reality I had created! It's easy to see now, but as we all know, when we are in the mishmash of our stuff, we can be pretty blind. This is why, if we are serious about transformation, we have to keep a close eye on our selves, our thoughts, habits, and our actions. Because no matter how much we want to change or rather to let the false fall away to reveal what is true, wanting needs to translate into the necessary actions to dig in that dirt and pull out the weeds!

When we begin to create our intentions, often times they will show us where we need to begin the inner work. We may come up against resistance to seeing our selves in the highest place, fear of creating what we really want, realizing that the alignment is off because we have a message that questions our worthiness. Sometimes help is needed to learn how to dig in that dirt. Over time and with the practice of this process, we learn how to see the falsehoods, how to chip away the old and create a new vision, plant that seed in the YN session and over time change out our seed stock!

Last, but not least, Intentions work with the grace of Spirit. There is a force that is always present and aiding us. As we become to willing to release that old baggage, we become more aware of the ever present Presence. With Amrit Method Yoga Nidra, we begin to sense that we are not this personality but 'something much bigger'. And that 'something' already holds all we could wish to manifest. It's all there waiting. It is in the journey, not the destination. Come join us!
Peace~

healing on all levels

So, I have an 'imbalance' in this physical body. It's name or label is not important for the purpose of this entry. And in some traditions of healing they do not label the dis-ease. Instead, they ascertain the way the body out of whack and then bring the system(s) back into alignment. That said, I have also felt that once we name something, call it out loud, we solidify it in the body and mind. There is an aiding in the creation of the condition, in it's manifestation. Many ancient spiritual traditions have realized that the spoken word is very powerful. As we speak, we turn energy into form. I have come to see that this is a factor in illnesses.

The level of sensitivity I have grown accustomed to in my body, is greater than many, yet less than others. However, although I have often felt the frustration and obsessions of this awareness, it has been an amazing learning tool for me. It is a strength, that allows me to be guided at a very deep intuitive level of my being. It is also a vehicle for me to be of service in helping others connect to their deeper voice of truth within themselves. Though, this is very natural for me, it can be cultivated by those willing to listen deeply.

My experience has shown me over the years, that while our healing can be facilitated through medications or natural therapies, true healing goes much deeper and requires listening to our emotions, our thoughts or beliefs, and the soul/spirit. We are multi-layered with subtle energies that play a role in our physical well-being. This is the body-mind-spirit concept. Add to that, if one is so inclined to believe, we come into this life carrying karmic patterns, that are seeds waiting to sprout, when conditions are ripe. Illnesses, 'imbalances' or 'dis-ease' are our teachers. We have lessons to learn through each healing process!

In this go-around, I am less fearful. Fear has been one of the lessons over the years I have had the opportunity to dance with. I would lay in bed nights, terrified of this or that. Not able to say the word cancer or would cringe if the subject turned up on tv or movies. When I was in the throes of alcoholism and making incredibly irresponsible decisions, Aids was breaking onto the scene. I would spend nights in paranoia and sweats. I have had a doctor who in the past would not tell me the symptoms of certain conditions, because my mind was way too active and my body too sensitive. She understood the connections and she understood how I would run with things, creating more suffering than necessary. That was years ago and fears have turned into faith. I feel more empowered in times of 'imbalance' and the focus is not so much about the 'problem', the focus is on the learning.

Let me lay it out in the language of specifics. I'd like to share just a couple of examples to clarify. I have experienced lymph swelling in my neck, for months on end. On the physical level, I needed to give up soy, dairy, caffine, wheat & sugar. But the clincher was on the emotional level. I had to learn to speak my mind, particularly use my voice to say "Hey, this isn't ok." I found I could use the foods minimally. However, there were times, when I was not even aware that emotionally I was 'stuffing' my voice, until the lymph would swell. The 'imbalance' was my guide, not my enemy. Immediately, as soon as I spoke my mind, listened to what was true, the swelling would disappear. This was my first concrete lesson that this connection of mind-body-spirit was indeed true, not just a concept or philosophy, but fact. Energetically speaking, this would be the Fifth Chakra. It holds the energy and consciousness of communication, surrender & judgment to name a couple of qualities.

In the third day of recovering from a kidney infection, which was the first day I was able to sit up, while reading the book, "The Beauty Myth" by Naomi Wolfe, I broke down in deep sorrowful tears and sobs. I connected with some deep pain around my femininity and felt such a deep sadness. But the amazing thing was, that as I cried, I literally felt the intense pain in the kidney gradually dissipate. By the time I was done crying over a 20 minute period, the kidney pain was gone! The Second Chakra corresponds with the kidneys and reproductive organs. This center houses our fears, denser or heavier emotions ie anger & sadness, sexuality, relationships.

For almost a year I had a constant hacking cough. Now, I was smoker for 20-some years and had been slowly working on quitting. I attributed this cough to the clearing of these toxic years. I had grown used to it and had more tolerance for it, as I used herbs to aid the process. During a workshop, my first of it's kind, I had an emotional release which took the form of the loudest, longest, growl-iest scream that I could have thought possible, exit me! My cough was no more! The lungs and respiratory system and breasts are in the realm of the Fourth Chakra or Heart Center.
This energy, ideally would express patience, purity of love, compassion. But when there is a shadow aspect, it can be a selfishness, disconnection, grief or resistance to these qualities. (Chakras may be explored more at a later time.)

As these years and lessons have progressed, the sensitivities in the body have as well. Especially during the phase I am in currently. I am shown exactly what I can and can't eat, via craving and repulsion. Things I was craving a month or so ago, such as lots & lots of dark greens has turned into primarily mung beans & rice. Foods that I had no interest in or didn't even like, have now crept into the craving spot. I listen. I trust. I look up the qualities or ask my practitioner/acupuncturist and it is validated that the body knows what it is needing!

Emotionally, I am dropping an armor I have carried as long as I can remember. I am undergoing a startling softening in my whole way of being. I am crying often, speaking more sweetly, and trying to 'prove' myself much less. It leaves me more peaceful, compassionate and accepting of myself, therefore, I can offer the same to others I come in contact with. It also leaves me feeling very exposed, raw and vulnerable. While I used to be afraid of these feelings, I am now sensing a solid grounding and a strength in the vulnerability. I am sensing a truer 'me', an ego present, but more purified and balanced. I know from my past, that nothing can undergo the transformation process without a change in energies and form. The old must go through a death. The toxic emotions, beliefs, energies must become compost or else the toxicity spreads. Once the die off occurs, rebirth takes place. New vital cells replace the old, with the help of learning the lessons. Not repeating the actions, behaviors etc that are poison to our beings. My armor may have protected me at one time, but it's use is outdated. I have to let it go or the protector becomes the perpetrator. It is not always easy to embrace a new way of being. It can be scary, unknown, and vulnerable. But we are creatures of adaptability, more accurately, we are evolving beings.

I believe it is my spiritual path and responsibility to change, evolve & transform. To transmute my fears into faith. Often that is at the very crux of all lessons. Fear & Faith can not be held simultaneously. Fear creates toxicity in the body and in the subtle bodies, it will create chaos in the systems. Learning to let go has ramifications on all levels.

I feel blessed that I have the ability to move through these times with faith. My heart goes out to those who perceive their existence one dimensionally; who feel at the mercy of their biology or are unable to find faith and peace in whatever their journey brings. And especially those who continue to suffer in old ways of being, when maybe their saving grace could be found in a complete emotional, mental or spiritual overhaul. But for some, I understand, it's not time. That too must also be held with clarity by those of us trying to help others.

My learning on this present lesson is just in it's baby stages and I am so grateful for the inner shifts already. We never know the outcome of things, but I trust that as long as I follow the guidance within, it will be exactly as it should be.
Big Love & Blessings ~ Lotus

First Yoga Nidra

Greetings!

"Yoga Nidra is one of the least explored, esoteric yoga practices. It is a conscious journey to levels beyond your ordinary state of mind." Yogi Amrit Desai

Last Monday we had our first Yoga Nidra class! It was wonderful and it's so nice to share this experience with others. We covered some of the basics significant to the Amrit Method of Yoga Nidra, such as Third Eye Integration, Intention and the Posture of Consciousness. I would like to share briefly about these principles, however, we will also re-visit them in classes and in another workshop format in the future.

Third Eye Integration ~ This concerns the power of the point between the eyebrows, the 6th Chakra, the Third Eye. This energy center lifts our energy, awareness, perception and consciousness upward from the lower centers of survival, to the higher centers of unified consciousness. It helps us to discern from the drama's & trauma's of our stories and past experiences, to see clearly in the here & now from a perception of non-attachment. In Yoga Nidra we cultivate the channeling of our energies to this center, that we may live more harmoniously, with more consistency!

Intention~ We discussed the difference between goal & intention. Goals are made in duality, traversing points from here to there. They can make us subject to inner conflict by igniting the ego consciousness of failure/success, self-judgment, stress & anxiety because of the 'need to prove' factors involved. Goal can bring divisiveness. Intention, on the other hand brings alignment. It calls on all aspects of the self, all our rowers to be rowing in the same direction! It creates an inner terrain of harmony where of our feelings, thoughts, speech and actions are all expressing the same thing - our truth. It brings all our rowers to be rowing the boat in the same direction, assuring it will navigate the waters effortlessly.

Posture of Consciousness~ This expresses the 2 sides of the same coin. That tension and release must go hand in hand, equally for health, vitality, clarity of thoughts & emotions and energy flow. We experience this through the Amrit Method of yoga postures, as well as, in the meditation practice. We hopefully learn to activate this through out all areas of our lives, realizing there are times for doing, times for non-doing; times for the expression of will, times for surrendering; times to activate our masculine, the Yang part of ourselves and the times to allow the feminine, our Yin to surface.
The doing will engage our Sympathetic Nervous System. This dominance, in our society has become a primary source of our stress related health issues. We have failed to cultivate engaging the balance of the Parasympathetic Nervous System which is to be found in very deep relaxation. This brings us into balance, wholeness & peace.

This deep, conscious relaxation is only one of the fundamental benefits of Yoga Nidra, but it is also of the utmost necessity.As we go deeper together, we hope you too can join us, either in class or private sessions!I will continue to keep you updated as we explore!

Peace~Lotus

We all have a unique way of moving through times of challenge, when old paradigms no longer seem to be working. It may feel like living in out-grown clothes, too tight and constricting! These periods are opportunities for letting go, of dying to an old way of being, so that we may be reborn into the new!

During these times of change and transition, the perception we hold can greatly influence our process, our deeper soul shifts. It's always good to question, Am I clearly perceiving lessons to be learned? Am I resisting? Is this resistance serving me or not? Am I able to find an underlying presence of Peace in the eye of the storm? Inner Journeys holds space and gives support through these shifts; brings clarity, insight and faith to these inner journeys, of the soul's work.

The practices offered act together to help you create a 'solid' foundation in which you will learn to navigate through the fluidity of your own evolutionary, transformational & spiritual adventure.
This work is body centered, sensory based and energetically sensitizing. You are led from the external conditions to the inner experiences that guide us in becoming our authentic Self!

You have the opportunity to explore and break free from habitual, self-defeating thoughts, patterns and actions; subconscious fears and emotions locked with in the body contributing to dis-ease; chronic tensions which separate you from Joy; false beliefs and stories which prevent you from experiencing your wholeness.

All of the modalities employed, each in its own way or synergistically, bring you into a deeper, fuller, more whole expression of your True Self. You will gain empowerment, Peace of mind, alignment and the choice of non-attachment. As you grow, you will continually increase your attunement to the intuition as it introduces to the ways of hearing your soul's song, as it longs to guide you home!