embracing aging & death consciously

This amazing Trevor Hall song, with complete lyrics on youtube, creates the tone for this blog entry.
Please give it a listen and allow yourself to be moved ~

Trevor Hall ~ House 

'that there is a road far beyond

far beyond the streets & the cars

far beyond the clouds & the stars

far beyond what we call God . . . 

well my body said just turn & run

but then I felt the light of the sun

in the heart that I thought had just died 

started coming slowly alive

we awoke in the mansion above 

and call it LOVE '

In part 2 of the Ram Dass video talk on my Inner Journeys Facebook page, he is sharing about conscious aging and conscious dying.  He has worked with death and dying for years and through his talk he is sharing that the suffering we all potentially face when we move into aging and death are far greater if we hold the perception of attachment to the body, the ego identity, and clinging to what was.  From his experience, this is what he says:

"I work with dying people all the time and those people who think they are their body are frightened.  But when I work with those people who are connected to Soul, they understand that the body is dying, but they are not identified with the body that is changing.  They enter the period of death and dying with equanimity."

He also expresses his belief that the time of becoming an elder is about consciously moving into the arena of exploring ourselves beyond the body and programmed mind. Sadly, one thing we can be sure of is that in mainstream society, support for conscious aging and dying is relatively slim. Even, as there is a progressive movement that sees the need for productive aging as a step in the right direction, which I also support, it is still externally focused.  There is still an expectation that we remain 'productive' and 'active' in the outside world.  The longer we can do this, then we are aging successfully.

It is so vital to stay healthy, engaged, being of service, living passionately, and learning at all stages.  In no way does the philosophy of conscious aging/dying need to negate this quality of life.  However, if we do not practice the inner connection, in conjunction, and listen inwardly to a deeper voice, we may only selling short our potential to bring a new depth and richness to our lives.  We may also be setting ourselves up for more fear, suffering, and pain as we encounter stages of decline.

To do inner work consciously it is important that we accept that aging an death are realities that are ahead of us. That we will face changes in our body, our looks, our stamina.  When our focus is honed on what is outside of us, how will we discover the riches within our beings?  How do we age and enter the arms of death gracefully and peacefully? How do we learn to experience that we are so much more expansive than our body allows us to be?

This is a responsibility that Ram Dass believes, lies in the process of aging.  We have to be the ones to choose consciously for ourselves, to explore beyond the realm of the tangible, the senses, the physical form.  Particularly individuals who hold more fear can be helped to live more fully, when they are not as fearful of aging and dying! 

All the mystical teachings, of all religions are preparing us for letting go into that which is greater than the personality we identify with.  Pieces of this process can happen naturally as we age.  When we see our elders letting go of preferences, when we witness them daydreaming peacefully, when we recognize they are sleeping more, when we hear them speak of loved ones who have died, appearing to them.  These are all phases of letting go. This is how consciousness begins to expand. Some will fight this, some family and loved ones will want them to keep them 'attached'.

Letting go is one of the lessons, if not the biggie in all of life!  We will either face surrender kicking and screaming, in pain and fear; or we will practice it as part of our life, embrace it with peace, joy and wonderment.  We each have to make these choices for ourselves.  Fortunately, there are so many paths, so many practices, spiritually focused or less spiritually focused, for each of us to explore to make our journey deep, rich, and joyful.

Conscious aging and dying is growing in momentum!  Many are desiring to make their last years not only full in the external world, but feel the desire to connect more deeply in ones internal world.  I am so thankful to be a part of that journey, for my own peace and for others.

You are invited!

opening deeper

Love.  This is the month of February, of Valentines Day, of the celebration of Love.  Actually it is the celebration of our experience of romantic love!  The bliss, the electricity, the giddiness and butterflies for 'the one'!  This love is full of excitement, the thrill of the unknown's of the person who has sparked us.  We feel the energy in the tummy, the preoccupation in the mind, the sexual charge that sometimes we confuse with the heart . . . and yes, we feel the beat quickening of the heart!  It is a safety zone of all is well, fabulous, fun and new! And indeed it is! The chemistry is literally fueling through our body. The cells, the brain, the hormones, the heart are all touched by this chemistry of 'love'.

I believe it is safe to say we have all experienced this at least once in our lives.  It hangs us on the edge of opening to another, opening to ourselves, and simultaneously dangles the fear of heartache that we imagine may be just around the corner!  One of my favorite teachers, Stephen Levine and his wife Ondrea, teach about healing into the death and dying process.  However, the work that they share is really about healing our fears, and inevitably opening the heart to whatever shows up.

Their teachings of remaining open in the face of fear, pain, dissolution at death, I find applicable in all area's of life.  Because it is about living in each moment more fully ~ no matter what!  As we move deeper into our relationships, particularly our romantic relationships, all of our fears are eventually brought to the surface.  It is then that the practices of staying present, connected with our emotions of vulnerability, insecurity, fear of loss, resistance to change, jealousy, etc. has the opportunity to heal these sensitive spots and bring us closer to our Beloved.

The challenge is staying present. Breathing. Allowing.  Just as we all have experienced the excitement and expectations of romance, we have just as assuredly felt these moments when the heart wants to clamp down from it's wide open spaciousness.  When the mind begins to run with stories of impending doom and the pain of heartache!  We want to blame, shame and protect our fragility in any way we can.  Our core issues of feeling less than, maybe unlovable, possibly the fatal loss, touch off a myriad of deeply buried stories that only 'love' has the power to exhume!

But such power comes forth from within us in these times of vulnerability. To stay present and watch. Keep breathing and feel fully the pain, the fear, the constriction. This is what opens the door of the heart even wider to a greater love.  This is a love that brings two lovers together, with deeper intimacy, clearer understanding and more compassion. These qualities extend to and through both lovers.  We are able to touch in the other, what they are truly needing and we are able to give these same qualities to ourselves.  Allowing without the stories of blame or how we think 'things should be', frees up space to experience 'how things really are'.  This in itself is expansive and begins to help us cultivate a deeper love for ourselves and our partner.  It cultivates compassion and gentleness for ourselves.  No matter which side of the coin our actions are on, it cultivates raising our consciousness.

I feel blessed to have walked the path of cultivating conscious relationships.  I feel blessed and empowered by the teachings of those who have walked before me and shared their experience.  One of the most important blessings in this life has been to have the skills to stay Present ~ Breathe ~ Allow.  The rewards have been a maturation process in how Love lives through me in my life, the moments of deep connection with my Beloved that have come through the moments of feeling most threatened,  and the bond that this forges.  

Thank God/Goddess for the spiritual tools I have been given and the ongoing practices that support my learning to open and heal at the heart level!  There is so much gratitude for the spark that brings us together, but for me the magic is most prominent in the consciousness it takes to deepen in relationship, consciously, with an ongoing expansiveness that comes through the intimacy that grows when the 'charge' subsides.  The fire that is kindled in its place which grows flames in a more powerful way!

It is the excitement of creating sacred relationship that thrills me. It is the intention to build and sustain a love that continues to open my heart to the fullest with my husband that calls from my soul.  I have trust that this will be our path together, if it is the will of the Universe.  The practicing of opening, healing, breathing and allowing in the present moment is the practice for Love, romantically, which I have the pleasure of watching as it spills over into all aspects of life!

Valentine Blessings for all ~ the gifts of Love which stem from surrendering always with an open heart into all that keeps us separated from our ability to live in Love.