the beauty of 'just being'

"When we speak of God, we are referring to that Supreme Consciousness from which all life arises. We can also talk about the way we experience God, as Divine Love or Divine Presence." Swami Khecaranatha

This Sunday morning was brought with soothing cloud cover, here in the sunny Tucson desert. I could sense my energy slow and restful, calling to retreat inward. Not without a list of things 'to do', I decided to heed the inner call. I lit some incense, put on some of my favorite flute music, and found my niche on the couch, from where I could watch the birds flitting here & there. I sipped my tea and was aware of the thoughts dancing around in my mind. "You should be doing...", "Don't forget...", "Don't you think you ought to...?" Although this practice of 'just being' is something I suggest to people I work with and keeping this balance has been a very important part of my journey, this morning it was clear to see I was a bit rusty!

'Just Being', tends to sound more simple than it is. We constantly have the buzz of the world drawing our attention out to: go do, go see, be more productive. Our nervous systems and minds are used to a certain amount of stimulation, often times depending on how we are with the going, doing and seeing. The cultivation of 'just being' gets lost in the hubub. When we do stop, not to sleep, or even to meditate, but 'just to be', we find the challenge right within us, egging us on to the next thing. Often times it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is something other than sitting around 'doing nothing', for heaven's sake!

Quick to see how out of practice I was, it brought me to a place of re-committing to this much needed balance in my life, body and soul. Familiar with the inner protests to the stillness, I knew it wouldn't take long to settle in. As I sat and allowed the mind to go about it's business, while I simply brought my attention to feel my breathing. I began to notice a gentle sadness and longing surface. I felt a little teary. But, also from experience, I know for myself, it is an inner signal of relief. It feels to me as if, some deep part of myself breathes this deep sigh of relief; that I have finally stopped to allow a deepening, a healing, integration to occur. Before long, the physical body releases a sigh or two and I feel my breath deepening. No longer is the mind acting out. It too has retreated into a quiet corner, maybe feeling ignored or maybe, it really wants some down time too!

As I sat watching the birds, my awareness floats to watch the subtle quivering of the leaves on the tree right outside the window... I am mesmerized by it's gentle shimmy. Listening to the chorus of birds merge with the bamboo flute, my breathing slows and deepens even more. Sipping the tea, I can almost taste each herb I have blended as a treat for my taste buds and nourishment of my body. My awareness is called even deeper within, I feel and hear my heart beat. It seems as if I am hardly even breathing at this point. There is a sense of expansion beyond the physical and I 'just be' with that. Nothing more~Nothing less. Who knows how long I am 'just there', it doesn't matter. From this peace and silence, I hear the message, bubbling up, "Surrender. Receive." It begins to repeat itself, the mantra from the soul to 'me', over and over. I do just as it says and am blessed as it plays on through my heart, mind and body. When I notice it has faded away, I bathe in the blessing and feel the gratitude of return to a practice I have let slide as of late.

The sun is now out and I am off the couch. I am keenly aware of the guidance I was given and will follow. Space was cleared for a couple epiphanies to come forth and I am at ease on all levels. Who knows what the rest of the day will hold, yet I will remain in the spaciousness of 'just being' and allow the continuation of the beauty of surrender.

Peace Within~