a new day dawns!

A new day dawns! Or we could say a new phase emerges. As I am back from my trip to see my teacher, Gurudev, Yogi Amrit Desai, I return with a renewed spirit! The previous months have been trying, yet, I applied what I have been taught and what experience has proven, and the rewards are present. Spending time with ones teacher always brings blessings, but the way we work with what Life offers, also brings opportunities for grace and blessings.

Just as I remained present with the healing processes, I brought the same presence to my walk this morning. Beauty was everywhere! The colors, the sky, the greener Catalina's, the songs of the birds. I had the pleasure of meeting two, sweet neighborhood pups ~ although one was certainly not quite as much a pup as the other!
I felt the wider capacity to embrace all of what was, with a more expansive heart and solid place of center!

And what does this mean to you and why do I choose to share these personal inner journeys? Well, I write first for myself. It is a continuation of my own self-awareness process and cultivation of deeper clarity. Second it is a way of sharing what I have been given. And third, as this work is my path of right livelihood, it is important to me that those who come to me as clients or students, realize that I teach and share what I have been shown on many levels of experience.

I can only share with others what I know. If you follow any of these entries, it may be clear that I don't share intellectual book learning information. This doesn't mean that I don't study ~ I do. In fact, it is one of my very favorite past times! However, both the intellectual and experiential realms co-exist. I can not help another on deep levels of transformation, unless I too, have traveled a similar road. There are too many subtleties that can be overlooked, if one only reads and dismisses the deep wisdom from within. The path I walk is what has been called 'depth practice'. Some of you, who know this way will understand what is meant. Others, there are little words to explain it until you are walking it. That being said, we can say it is a path of continuous transformation. Many cycles of being the catipillar and the butterfly in our human/spiritual evolution! We can not have the transformation with out some degree of cocoon!

Everything that I offer through Inner Journeys, comes from my teachers, my studies and my personal experience. I feel it is helpful and inspirational when I am aware of the experiences of others. It gives me a sense of trust, hope and encouragement to surrender to the spiritual unfolding of my own being. When I am struggling in a particular place and see that another has too, and has come through it, I know I can do the same. When I witness the transformation of another, I have faith in my own!

This new day dawning, for myself, is one more reminder that when we are moving through the underworld or being cocooned, for a period of time, even when it seems to be a LONG period of time, we do resurface! And that re-emergence is rich and vital in it's new perceptions, wisdom and Joy-filled alignment. All too often, without knowing that there will be a new day, many people don't give themselves to the purification, the death of what is necessary, in order to shine a brighter light. Some remain in the shade of the old, satisfied with what is familiar, even if uncomfortable. The unknown of the shedding of the old skin can be frightening, can feel like depression, and can reveal hidden grief and pain. But on a spiritual path, that is enlivened by the Souls guidance to evolve, we have to be willing to traverse these unknowns! Over time, experience bears out the Truth from the untruth of our perceptions. Experience cultivates trust in the processes.

This is why I write what I write. To encourage us all to keep on truckin' through Life's lessons and promptings. To expose the intimate, innate wisdom and expressions of the Divine's teaching, healing and transformational powers. I also send out assurance that we never have to travel completely alone. There are always those who have traveled ahead of us, from whatever point we are at, and I am oh! so grateful for all who have shown me the way!

Here's to embracing our journey as it shows up and to the Grace of the Divine!

In Light & Peace~

sacred days of fire

These days introduce a fire both in our Tucson summer and the purification of the internal realm. While this inner fire has seemed to be burning for months now, the fire has elevated my awareness into the presence of a Sacred Joy, regardless of the circumstances.

There is an enlivened teaching running through my being. It seems the dualities should not be living simultaneously, but reality is proving much different. A few months ago, I had some abnormal cells show up on an ovary. I wasn't surprised as I knew there was deep work needed in this energy center. Over the months, what has been revealed in this Sacred healing process has been profound! This work is innate to me, so I have intuitively listened to the inner guidance to inform me. As the months have passed, I have been shown and released much of what has been harbored away. I have ridden the flow of emotions and the karmic roots into past life glimpses, with non-attachment. However, wonder and amazement never cease as the Sacred is revealed in brighter and brighter splendor, as each dark cavern has been traversed!

This intensity has brought me into relationship with so many of my habitual reactions in my daily life. It has been as though sharpening the blade of my awareness, as each agitation or preference rises. The first experience slips by, in normal mode, to quickly be identified and examined. The second and maybe third visit, brings a blinding clarity as the behavior or reaction is sliced away. Consciousness is brought to meet the habitual interaction and the reaction is neutralized. The focus is honed and the fire of awareness is hot! It's as if these tendencies explode within, in one last round of sparks.

This practice brought into my days, my work situation, my relationships and this journey of healing the last several of months, has left me in a depth of an inner stillness, a deep quietude. I enter into contact with the Sacred, as each 'mundane' aspect is lifted, by bringing this honed consciousness to it. It is a Sacred moment, when the darkness meets the light. These qualities commune, the shadow dissipates, its work as a sacred teacher is complete. Freedom and Joy remains. This is not a loud, expressive, woo-hoo! joy. It is a Joy, that simply expands in this being and allows me to cultivate more space and Love for others.

And as more is burned away, even in the moments when the healing brings about elements of density, I am clear of the Joy that is always present. I began to be shown when I was identifying with the ribbons of sadness, shame, pain or fear. A voice whispered inwardly, "I am Joy and at Peace." I was mistaking the ribbons for the truth. Now, I allow the ribbons to fly away, and remember, "I am Joy and at Peace."

Gratitude always abounds in this journey for each valley and peak, for I know I am led, held, protected and purified when I go to these depths, which allows me to rise to the next peak. I have been traveling this path for awhile, and know 'I' am not doing this 'work'. I simply surrender to what is presented. I am brought deeper into my communions through the spiritual practices I have been led to. I meet Her in the quietude and She travels with me in the world, leading me into what is needed and when.

I don't turn away from the Sacred fire. Which is not to say it is never tempting or at it's worst,I may avoid it temporarily. Yet I am always brought back to wake up. It merges the life as a whole into the fabric of the Divine. The fire will help set me free, will bring me into greater Joy, Peace and ever deepening communion with the One. I am only just a babe in these woods. I follow the pathless path, yet I trust it is Divinely outstretched.

Although hardship is a part of this journey, it is also a part of life. It is a way in which we are taught, it is our duty to learn. But, more so, this is a path of intense Love, Grace and Peace.

In Joy and Peace~

transformation in process ~always!

"When everything else disappears,
all that is left this time of year,
minutes seem to slip away, taking with it yesterday.
And when transformation spreads it's wings,
with it inspiration brings,
the spark of life echoes true, for I am truly born anew" Sasha Butterfly Rose, from her album 'Creation Song'

The transformation process may be as a whisper or a rumble. It may also include both and a wide spectrum in between. Today finds it whispering, on the tail end of one cycle. Without a doubt a new wave is not far away! There is never really an end or beginning. It seems that the moment I decided to say "YES!", years ago to this awakening Self, it has been a continuous, non-stop ride! I gave my permission, attuned to the Soul's song, and surrendered to the waves of conscious learning that our teacher, Life, introduces!

I am surfacing from a time of cleansing on very subtle and deep levels, in tandem with a root into more solid grounding, and celebrating a new ray of my Light! All energies have been focused, awareness has been on high alert, and old chapters have been closed. I have felt discombobulated within, which usually goes with the territory. Vulnerabilities have been running high, simultaneously, with a new strength. It is fascinating to realize how many contrary aspects we have in our being, even as they all conspire to bring us to wholeness! I never cease to be amazed at the hand of the Divine, always supporting us along our way, whether we see it or not!

So today, I find myself empty. I found I was moved to clean house, one thing just led to the next. No thought. No plan. Just an inner listening and following, bringing the sacred to the mundane. Before I knew the house was clean, the laundry almost done, noticing it is time to make one more stretch of myself today, and then who knows. I am witnessing once again, how much can 'get done', be 'productive', simply by being in the flow. No mind. No preferences. No inner committee with opinions. Just flowing, allowing my insides to move into their new places, just as it is mirrored in the immediate surroundings. A new home on both planes. This same dynamic has served me many times, alerting me to the 'setting' of this inner shift, at least temporarily.

In this emptiness, letting go comes easily. I also feel more connected to all the blessings of this life and great love for all on this journey with me! It is always so inspiring as we all participate and witness this process, over and over. I have so much gratitude too, for those closest to me, like my lovely husband. We are so blessed to ride these waves hand in hand, holding space when needed and returning the honor for each other! Sometimes it's messy, other times graceful, but always respected.

The 'Creation Song', with it's excerpt above is a beautiful, magical song by this artist. It speaks to the capacity in us all, the innate gift and purpose, for all to transform through out our lives. Just as nature is continuously born anew, so are we. We go through our own deaths of old ways, old selves, to always be rebirthed with a new pureness and truth! We are apart of these cycles of the nature, when we surrender those things that keep us in stagnation, asleep, in fear, and constricted.
This is how we open to Spirit, our Light, Soul and one another with love, peace, and compassion!

Therefore I trust this finds all who read this, in the midst of your own re-birthing process. And if you think you are not, look and listen very closely . . .!!

big love & deep peace~

the dance of ecstasies of joy & deepening of peace

The call of the Feminine, in Her Moon aspect, has been calling more frequently. Or perhaps it is that I am more willing to surrender to Her, at last. It has been apparent in conversations lately, that more people are speaking of the need to come within, to touch base into the inner quietude.

There is an understanding that we are a culture of going, doing and achieving. This has been a topic for me recently, just as it was brought to my attention years ago, that this was my mode of operation. That is until I found yoga, or rather it found me! It has taken me years though, even after opening to yoga, to take it from an intellectual understanding. An end to my resistance and the ability to drop down into a deeper knowing in heart and Soul, has been a huge part of my learning. I have never had a doubt that the consciousness and calling of the eternal Mother was trying to get my attention, but it took some untangling of the elements, which kept me in resistance.

I love being in the ecstatic states of creating, the awe of life, the inspirations always waiting around the corner! It seems we all love being in the full Light of the 'Solar Culture', as Christiana Northrup M.D. puts it. She was giving a lecture on PBS recently, for her new revised edition of 'Woman's Bodies,Woman's Wisdom'. I could feel the enthused state rising in me as she spoke about much that I hold dear. I experienced the energy of that enthusiasm growing, inspirations flowing, and the mind running. Unfortunately, it was also time for bed, if I was to be functional the following day! My attempt at meditation after that was a bit, well, frustrating. However, it brought some clarity into view.

She went on to bring attention to the need for the Moon aspect in us all, which aligned with some of what Thomas Moore writes in his book 'Care of the Soul'. This deep Soul work that is found in those quieter, internal times, out of the Sun and in the shadows of the Moon's light. The theme of what draws me most, unraveled itself into a Presence that has always been present. The only thing keeping me in and out of blindness, has been my ability to perceive beyond my 'preferences' for the Sun energy.

I don't believe I am alone in avoiding the deep shadows of Her light. When we look around our society, it is obvious what we gravitate towards. As mentioned prior, the external world, the Sun, activities, socializing and actualizing. This is part of what we are indeed here for, it is part of our nature, just as the Sun,it's fire and Father Sky. However, there is another half to this story. The other half of our nature is the Moon, the dark soil and deep oceans of MaMa Earth.

They each have their powers to bring life, healing and inspiration. When we live in both aspects equally, we walk this plane in balance and harmony. When we live in one or the other excessively, aspects of our being suffer. This dynamic wholeness has been given to us through out all of nature. Day and Night; Life and Death and it's seasons in between; Will and Surrender; Tension and Relaxation; Giving and Receptivity; Siva and Shakti; Yang and Yin. Yet we also have free will, and often times we choose one of the other, and the one applauded in our society is action, doing, going and achieving.

There is a depth that is missed, even as we accomplish and create wonders in this world. If we don't take time to balance the Sun and Moon in ourselves, we miss out on a deepening within. When do we reflect? Learn the lessons at Soul level? Connect to the subtle aspects of receptivity? When do we integrate? These are the places we have the opportunity to explore in LOTUS EMERGENCE ~ INSPIRED MOVEMENT OF THE SACRED.

I am sure for some, they can do all the above while in the Sun. Or maybe they need only a ray or two of the Moons beam. I have found for myself however, that the consensus of many great Maters holds the truth that speaks: "No one can see their reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see." This is a Taoist proverb, that holds to an honoring of the wisdom of the Feminine, of Her inner reflecting.

Maybe the reason more people are feeling this need to go within, is the call from the shift of consciousness upon us. The time of the is Feminine approaching. She is beginning to be heard through Her domain of Intuition. Not to make the Male obsolete, but so we can come into True partnership with one another, with nature, the Cosmos, but firstly, within ourselves.

What we find at Her watery depths, will not be discovered in the light of day. This may bring discomfort for some, but we can't ignore, that whatever is at those depths, is there whether we venture in and become conscious of it or not.

As I surrender more and more, I am finding a beautiful dance between the Ecstasies of Joy and the Deepening of Peace. There was a guilt I used to experience, because I resonate more strongly with the shadows of the Moon Beams. I had a belief that told me it was wrong to want to explore Her water and soils. This belief said I should want to be in the bright lights, running around in the rays of the Sun! This created a shadow of it's own in my psyche. When I finally surrendered, when I gave myself to Her, I found a new balance and a new dance, healing, and inner Truth. The lessons continue to be amazing and enlightening. Yes I share both the light of the Sun and the Moon, but I am always aware, She is the light that shines through my heart and Soul!

In Deep Peace~

lotus emergence ~ inspired movement of the sacred

It has been said by the mystics, that the origins of dance sprung forth as expressions of devotion, from the deep states of spiritual connection. Lotus Emergence provides the sacred container and the process by which to journey to our inner realms, igniting the Sacred within us, to emerge.

Through centering and stilling techniques, you are guided into the abode of inner peace and emptiness. It is from here, our movements, our prayers in motion, spring forth spontaneously! Your being becomes inspired by the Sacred. You are transported into the Bliss and Freedom of Spirit. Transformation takes place from the depths of SELF.

An excerpt of a Rumi poem reads:
" ... Close the ears on your head that listen mostly to lies and cynical jokes. There are other things to hear and see: dance-music and a brilliant city inside the Soul.'

The only requirements for this exploration are, the willingness to be present, a desire for connection with Source, and the courage to surrender to the depths of you!

This will be an intimate group, so it is asked that you register early. Details will be provided at that time. I look forward to journeying with you.

In Peace~

the beauty of 'just being'

"When we speak of God, we are referring to that Supreme Consciousness from which all life arises. We can also talk about the way we experience God, as Divine Love or Divine Presence." Swami Khecaranatha

This Sunday morning was brought with soothing cloud cover, here in the sunny Tucson desert. I could sense my energy slow and restful, calling to retreat inward. Not without a list of things 'to do', I decided to heed the inner call. I lit some incense, put on some of my favorite flute music, and found my niche on the couch, from where I could watch the birds flitting here & there. I sipped my tea and was aware of the thoughts dancing around in my mind. "You should be doing...", "Don't forget...", "Don't you think you ought to...?" Although this practice of 'just being' is something I suggest to people I work with and keeping this balance has been a very important part of my journey, this morning it was clear to see I was a bit rusty!

'Just Being', tends to sound more simple than it is. We constantly have the buzz of the world drawing our attention out to: go do, go see, be more productive. Our nervous systems and minds are used to a certain amount of stimulation, often times depending on how we are with the going, doing and seeing. The cultivation of 'just being' gets lost in the hubub. When we do stop, not to sleep, or even to meditate, but 'just to be', we find the challenge right within us, egging us on to the next thing. Often times it doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is something other than sitting around 'doing nothing', for heaven's sake!

Quick to see how out of practice I was, it brought me to a place of re-committing to this much needed balance in my life, body and soul. Familiar with the inner protests to the stillness, I knew it wouldn't take long to settle in. As I sat and allowed the mind to go about it's business, while I simply brought my attention to feel my breathing. I began to notice a gentle sadness and longing surface. I felt a little teary. But, also from experience, I know for myself, it is an inner signal of relief. It feels to me as if, some deep part of myself breathes this deep sigh of relief; that I have finally stopped to allow a deepening, a healing, integration to occur. Before long, the physical body releases a sigh or two and I feel my breath deepening. No longer is the mind acting out. It too has retreated into a quiet corner, maybe feeling ignored or maybe, it really wants some down time too!

As I sat watching the birds, my awareness floats to watch the subtle quivering of the leaves on the tree right outside the window... I am mesmerized by it's gentle shimmy. Listening to the chorus of birds merge with the bamboo flute, my breathing slows and deepens even more. Sipping the tea, I can almost taste each herb I have blended as a treat for my taste buds and nourishment of my body. My awareness is called even deeper within, I feel and hear my heart beat. It seems as if I am hardly even breathing at this point. There is a sense of expansion beyond the physical and I 'just be' with that. Nothing more~Nothing less. Who knows how long I am 'just there', it doesn't matter. From this peace and silence, I hear the message, bubbling up, "Surrender. Receive." It begins to repeat itself, the mantra from the soul to 'me', over and over. I do just as it says and am blessed as it plays on through my heart, mind and body. When I notice it has faded away, I bathe in the blessing and feel the gratitude of return to a practice I have let slide as of late.

The sun is now out and I am off the couch. I am keenly aware of the guidance I was given and will follow. Space was cleared for a couple epiphanies to come forth and I am at ease on all levels. Who knows what the rest of the day will hold, yet I will remain in the spaciousness of 'just being' and allow the continuation of the beauty of surrender.

Peace Within~

private sessions ~ unveiling soul yoga

"In my search to find my heart, soul and spirit, Lotus and Unveiling Soul Yoga, were put in my path. She gave me sight to see my inner Self and to learn to make peace~most of the time~ with the heart churning conflicts that can be faced daily. She is a true soul healer" BD

The offering of Unveiling Soul Yoga came about organically around 2003. It is based on my personal yoga practice and deeply inspired by my time with Yogi Amrit Desai and Ananda yoga. My personal path led me to see the value of practicing in a private setting, one on one. I don't feel that it excludes partaking in yoga classes, but there is an added depth that can be attained when one can listen to the personal needs and calling of the body. This new awareness and consciousness can then be taken into the class arena, to benefit ones daily practice!

This practice can be taken as deep as one is so inclined. With guidance and support, we begin to understand the body, to be a vehicle to go beyond the body. With all attention on you, as the student, we listen to what your body needs at any given time. With postures done slowly, consciously and without force, you can nurture your energy level and listen within, to how you can best be nourished through this asana practice. You are able to hear more of the subtle calls from your heart and soul, communicated through your physical form. Tuning in, in this way, allows this practice to bring you into a peaceful, meditative and centered state.

Often, there are holding patterns in the physical body. We experience them as tight muscles, tension or alignment issues. We have emotions that are also stored in the body. These emotions can manifest as the tight muscles or illness. Most of the time these holdings are unconscious and need the 'light of consciousness' brought to them.
But how does one do that? And what does one do when they meet that block? Let's face it, if we wanted to meet it to begin with, we wouldn't need to push it away! As we all know, if something is going to feel good, we have little trouble experiencing it. However, when we don't want to experience something we deem as unpleasant or uncomfortable, we have habitual places to tuck 'it' away. Maybe it's the low back, the shoulder blade, the hamstrings, the pelvis . . . Any place can be the unconscious hiding place!

When we practice in a container that cultivates this inner listening, consciousness grows and we are able to move beyond our patterns of unconscious holding. We become empowered when we can build greater awareness and learn how to bring healing and freedom from old habits and stories locked within. It is not always easy to allow old wounds move through us, which is why this personal support and container is valued, if needed. The releases, whether they be in the forms of, increased range of motion, clearer seeing or emotional, are often necessary to create more space for Grace, so to speak. It is then, that we become lighter in our Being. We become integrated and aligned. We get clear on our patterns and learn that the release brings freedom and bliss!

"I began working with Lotus during a time of undo stress, hoping only to relieve some tension and gain some support. Through a personalized program of yoga and meditation, I was able to heal old wounds and patterns, as well as, wake up to a new understanding of myself and Spirit. With her intuitive guidance, sensitivity and grounded approach, I discovered so much more." AT

"I wish I could put into words what the practice of Unveiling Soul Yoga and the guidance Lotus has brought has meant to me over the past couple of years. With her help, I have less physical pain and have kicked acid reflux that I suffered from for over 10 years! Everything from dentist visits to public speaking has gotten easier for me. Comfort, ease and calm are what I have continued to experience. Her commitment to helping others to heal is inspirational." AV

Unveiling Soul Yoga extends an invitation to explore your inner landscape, delve into your own unique layers of lessons and discover the beauty within!
Peace~